Ignorance in the aisles of Walmart

My little sister, Josephine, came down for a visit on Tuesday and slept over. Tuesday night, we decided to go to Walmart, just so that I could get out of the house for a little while and show her around the town a bit. Plus, I had some birthday money of Nolan’s to spend on him, so yeah.

Anyways, I wore leggings, a skirt, a t-shirt and flip-flops. I was wandering around the main aisle, waiting for Josephine to come back from grabbing a cart and talking on the phone with Matt (asking him what he wanted me to pick up, if anything) when two teenage girls walked by. One of them stared at my foot and started laughing and elbowed her friend, pointing at my foot. Her friend chimed in with the laughter and said “OMG, look at her toes! That is so gross” as if I wasn’t even there.

I froze, mid sentence, and felt my heart drop into my stomach. I was extremely embarrassed, held frozen in place by that embarrassment and in that single moment they were able to walk away laughing, looking over their shoulder at me.

Then the anger set in. I couldn’t believe those two young girls had the balls to openly point and laugh at someone for being different. I mean sure, my crooked toes aren’t the cutest, but seriously? Who raised them? MTV?

I was angry. I wanted to go up to them and say “Yeah, that will be five bucks please. If you’re gonna stare at me like I’m a freak show, you might as well pay me for my embarrassment” but didn’t, because I’m honestly not that ballsy (although, I totally wish I WAS).

It also made me extremely sad and worried about Nolan’s future. When I wear flip-flops or sandals or any other kind of shoe that displays those toes, I catch a lot of people staring. Most of them? They don’t school their features. The disgust clearly shows. It’s embarrassing. It’s one of the [millions] of reasons why I have such a horrible body image. It’s one thing to try to rise above it and think positively, but when you’re actually in the moment with people staring and even laughing and pointing at you, it’s hard to hold too that ‘everyone is beautiful’ mindset. It’s hard to feel confident. It’s hard to feel anything but embarrassed, insecure, and low as all hell.

I don’t want Nolan to ever feel the way I felt in Walmart the other night, and so…I’m asking all of you to do me a favour. If your eyes are drawn to something different and strange about someone, something that isn’t exactly society’s definition of “beautiful”….please don’t stare. Please don’t point and laugh. Chances are, you’re making that person feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. Chances are, you’re hurting them. If you see someone else doing this to a person, and that person is frozen with the emotions of having a physical feature laughed at, please speak out and say “not cool”, because chances are the person that they’re laughing at is too insecure and embarrassed to stand up for themselves, as I was in Walmart the other night. Had I been able to reach the anger emotion faster, I sure as shit would have [tried] to say something.

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42 Comments

Filed under annoyances, challenges, dumbass people, genetically mutated, I don't know, imperfections; perfections, insecurties, issues, just thoughts, not so funny shit, pain, pictures, scars, self image, stuff that bites, the bad, the difficult, the ugly

42 responses to “Ignorance in the aisles of Walmart

  1. jeez, people can be so lovely, huh? I’m sorry you have to come across people like this, I’m sorry we all have to come across people like this, it’s such a horrible feeling, that moment where you freeze and get stuck in embarrassment and hurt.

    Great post.

  2. Abigail @ SkyWaitress

    Oh that makes me so mad. It’s a good thing I wasn’t there, they would have gotten a ear full. People are so ignorant. They deal with their own insecurities by pointing out other people’s. Grrr. ::virtually kicks their asses for ya::

    • You’re right; that’s just it. And all the crappy TV shows they have out that teach teens it’s okay to be a total bitchy douchebag (um, Jersey Shore anyone?) and a catty bitch (The Hills, etc).

      Sigh. MTV is DEFINITELY raising teens now…

  3. ouch.

    you know, i was bullied A LOT as a kid. i finally turned into an ass hole in the third grade. i figured if i acted tough nobody would know how hurt i secretly was. i had really hairy arms and SUPER buck teeth. i started waxing my arms in the 6th grade and still shave them to this day. i can’t handle having any body hair. and my parents spent over $6K on my teeth and making them perfect. a friend of mine recently bottled my tooth by accident at the bar and there’s a TINY chip in one of my front teeth (that you can’t see unless i point it out), and i OBSESS over it. i constantly run my tongue over it or smile with my mouth closed.

    honestly? i can’t even watch commercials or movies about bullying because it actually makes me sick to my stomach. i can’t handle knowing that someone is hurting over something they can’t control.

    you know something else? i CHOSE to look the way i look. i have always gone out of my way to have silly hair, or dress differently, or cover my entire body in tattoos (some of them useless, some of them represent secrets and my past and things i love)… and it still KILLS me that ignorant ass holes can’t appreciate someone for being different, or having the confidence to put themselves out there.

    the fact that you are insecure about your toes and you still go out wearing flip flops shows the courage you have. don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re not perfect, because everyone is in their own little way. you’ve been through hell and back with surgeries and scars and painful things most people won’t understand, and still you go out of your way to look like a million bucks. you text me pictures of your outfits and i LOVE that.

    this post totally broke my heart.

    just know that what goes around, comes around.

    karma’s a bitch.

    • I talk the talk but I don’t walk the walk lol. What I mean is I TALK about how important it is to stand up for ones self, and I TALK about how I want to react in situations like that, but when it comes down to it and I’m actually IN that situation, or one like it, I can’t find my tongue. I can’t get past the embarrassment and hurt until it’s over and done with.

      I’m the kind of person who will be sitting at home and then SUDDENLY a “come back” so to speak, will hit me even though the “situation” occured months and even YEARS earlier (like that time in grade nine…well, that’s a long winded story but I finally came up with a “come back” at the end of grade eleven. GO ME).

      Thank you Elle; I try to push past my own insecurities and comfort zone, and most of the time I don’t even think about wearing flip-flops. I just think “oh, well it’s hot out and I don’t want to wear socks…so, flip-flops it is”.

      I only have a few cute outfits, unforch. Thanks to being broke lmao. I try to mix and match them too buuuut I fail more often than not (which is why you got the pics anyway hahaha!).

      Karma IS a bitch, and more creative than I am that’s for sure.

      xoxo

  4. Cri

    that is absurd that someone would be like that. i mean, i don’t even notice peoples feet. im really sorry 😦 i woulda thrown something at them >.<

  5. Oh Jess. I’m so sorry that happened. You handle it with such grace. Love you.

  6. I’m sorry, Jess. People can be so stupid.

  7. The lack of empathy in society is so horrifying and disturbing. I was raised to put myself in other peoples shoes before speaking/acting and I plan to do the same when I have kids. There isn’t much I can do about the idiots in the world, but I promise not to stare or gawk and will encourage anyone I’m with to do the same 🙂

    • The lack of empathy in society IS very horrifying and distrubing, it totally IS almost like MTV is raising the kids. They have such access to horrible shows that teach them bad qualities and mannors. Parents tend to think that their kids will learn from other people’s kids; and that’s not a GOOD thing.

      And thank you Summer, that definitely helps!

  8. I don’t know why, but it always astounds me when people act like that. Everyone is different in some way. Why do some people have to single out those differences and make people feel bad? It makes me so mad. This especially makes me mad because NOBODY’S FEET ARE PERFECT AND CUTE. I don’t care who you are. My second toes are both crooked, and my little toes just barely touch the ground when I’m standing flat on my feet. My big toes are also just insanely huge. And let’s not even mention how long and thin my feet are; I’m a size 10!

    I still get self-conscious about them sometimes, like the other night when I was hanging out with Mike and a few of our friends. My friend Sean asked me what size shoe I am, and all I could think of was, Why are you looking at my feet?! But then I laughed it off.

    When I was younger and I got teased a lot, I’d run scenarios through my head so I could come up with comebacks to almost anything I got teased for, that way I didn’t just cry when someone at school teased me. Maybe you could give it a shot.

    And fuck those girls. They obviously watch too much “reality” television, because like I said, no one’s body is perfect.

    *hugs*

    • It also astounds me when people act that way…although, given the amount of times this has happened you would think it wouldn’t surprise me. I see the good in everyone though, and I try my hardest not to judge someone until I get to know them (then judging is kind of hard to avoid doing, because it’s forming an opinion…or at least, that’s the kind of judging I do).

      I agree; feet aren’t cute PERIOD lmao. They kind of freak me out, not that I gawk and point and say GROSS whenever I see feet.

      I generally am too shocked to speak out with a comeback during situations like that; hense the days later blog post, LOL.

      ::hugs::

  9. Litzia

    Wat a nasty pair of girls!

    but stupid ones also, you should feel pity for them, because their lifes for sure are fill with emptiness, and you have so much love so ignore those comments 😉

  10. Blaine

    Everyone has something that is different about them. Your feet, while not ‘normal’ are by no means disgusting or gross. They are just a little bit different.

    Take heed that your differences make you a good person. Theirs obviously don’t.

    I like to think that in the same situation, I’d have brought attention to their callousness by asking them very loudly “Excuse me? You think because I am different, and not some barbie doll molded skewed version of perfection, that you can just laugh at me? At least I am decent and I don’t make fun of people for their differences. Thanks again for proving that the gene pool has indeed gotten very murky, and that mandatory seat belts saved a lot of people who shouldn’t have made it. Good luck in the real world with that personality.”

    Or something along those lines. I tend to get very angry about crap like that. It’s just not right.

    This is exactly why I am tempted to cancel the satellite. No exposure to that horrible shit = only teaching moments in the real world.

    Don’t let it get to you, though. Just accept that they don’t know better, probably never will, and teach Nolan how to stand up for himself, in case he ever needs to.

    You are so much better than them, Jess.

    • It is now my LIFE MISSION to make sure that my children are not badly behaved like that. It’s now my life mission to ensure that my kids accept that everyone is different and know that everyone is beautiful 🙂

      HAH, that would have been awesome! I wish I had balls.

  11. I think your toes are smexy!
    I would do them, if you were closer to me. lol.

    I don’t know how your so calm about things? I know it’s probably for the best, but honestly, I would have wanted to bitch slap them, hurt them, yell, scream etc. [okay that’s just because I am full of hormones right now].

    • Thank you!

      I guess I was pretty calm. Inside, I was a storm of emotions. But, I guess I didn’t really react. Maybe, I don’t know actually…I didn’t see my face. I did rant about it quite a bit to Matt and Josephine. I couldn’t believe their nerve!

      But yeah, I remember pregnant me and pregnant me also didn’t put up with any shit (have you HEARD the story of when Kyla, Caitlin and I went to the movies and I made some annoying chick bawl? yeah…lmao).

      Ahh pregnancy hormones…how I wish I could bottle that shit up and sell it.

  12. apandorabox

    stupid girls….
    i think this post will interest you: http://www.iambarkingmad.com/spotted_dick_and_other_mu/2010/06/this-could-have-been-youor-me.html

    i lived with discrimination my whole life… i was overweight most of my 22 years, but therapy, and being so stubborn made me learn not to let any of that affect me (well, except for the fact that i changed high-scools because of bullying)

  13. Ugh!! Lets try that again and not press post comment this time shall we??
    That is HORRIBLE! I hate people like this and they’re lucky I wasn’t around because I would have made the BIGGEST scene.

    I too have funny toes and I was SO self conscious when I was little, I NEVER wore flip flops to school, not even in High School. Now I dont really give a crap but If i notice someone staring or if someones taking a picture I like, try to hide my foot. Not really cause I CARE so much, but because it’s just become a habit from doing it my WHOLE life.

    • A lot of things I do now are also out of habit. Like, before when I was in high school I wouldn’t were sandals or flip-flops either. Now I run out of the house and don’t even realize that I’m wearing them until something like that happens to me.

      You have cute toesies!

  14. That is absolutely horrible! I cannot believe how rude people can be sometimes. I don’t think I could of held my tongue; but I’ve always been known to talk first and think later. I’m sorry you had to deal with this immaturity.

  15. Wow, that’s a lot of nerve on those kids, right? Yikes.

    You’re gorgeous. ‘Nuff said.

    • Awwh thank you Adrienne!

      And I have to admit, when you commented and I got the alert on my phone, I TOTALLY squealed and told Matt and he just gave me a blank stare lmfao. Thanks for stopping by, and boosting my confidence at the same time 😉

  16. Shelley

    Gosh, this pisses me off so much.

    You’re such a sweet young (BUT MATURE) woman, and don’t deserve that. I don’t find your feet gross at all, people are ridiculous. I do not only not stare at people’s “differences” but rather almost not even see them as setting them apart from others. I think it just makes us unique. Who wants to be the same as everyone else? I certainly wouldn’t want to be like those two girls.

    I’m sorry you had deal with it. I don’t think you should let it stop you from wearing flip-flops and you should keep wearing skirts and dresses regardless of your scars. They are just reminders of what a strong person you are. You are beautiful woman, mother, and soon-to-be-wife! Don’t forget that! =-)

    • Awh thank you Shelley. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated, and I also suck at confrontation so it’s a mixture of trying to be a good person and failing at standing up for myself lol.

      I don’t understand where everybody got the idea that we have to be carbon copies of each other, or when it became okay for people to laugh at those differences. I think we can thank the media, and fast fading respect/manors.

      And don’t worry it won’t stop me from wearing flip-flops or summery clothes because frankly it’s too hot for me to let people’s “disgust” get to me.

      Thank you so much!
      xoxo

  17. First – HUGS.

    Second, I hope to GOD those teenage girls grow up with ugly warts on their faces and have people laugh at them. IDIOTS!

    Third – I’m sorry you had to feel that way for even a second and I will definitely make sure I stand up for someone who has frozen in the face of humiliation.

    And finally – You’re awesome. Even if you do freeze for a moment, please get that anger back and rise above it. 🙂

  18. I wanted to write something but the words weren’t coming. Hugs.

  19. Oh my God that is so awful. I would never ever stare at someone for being different. Your toes are grand, pet. I am so sorry that these young people did that. If I saw someone doing that I would say something to the feckers. Best wishes.

  20. This absolutely infuriates me. At this point, had that been me, I probably would have said something really nasty right back at them. I deal with this sort of thing every bloody day because of my weight. Yet, while I want to say something when a moron makes some asinine comment, I never do. I’m sorry that you had to be subject to such idiocy. I don’t wish anything bad on them because their idiocy is enough.

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