I suck at ‘Mom-Dating’.

My dear friend Sarah from Old School New School Mom has some pretty hilarious posts about mom-dating. Which is when you search for a mom friend with kids roughly your kid’s age and hope you have tons of stuff in common so that play dates aren’t just for the kids, and also so that you have someone who you can talk to and all that jazz.

Reading her posts about mom-dating, I have got to say…I suck at it. I have blown so many ‘mom-dates’ with my stupid absent-minded way of conversing. I am awkward in real life, trust me. Absent minded is the perfect way to describe me. I’m one of those people who will think something, say it and have it come out completely wrong and jumbled. I have my own jargon, my own language. And finding people who understand my jargon, my language? Yeah…it’s pretty impossible.

I don’t know when I became so bad at making friends. I used to be a social butterfly. I used to befriend anybody and be nice to all. I am still nice to everyone, but since blogging…the lines of what I should share and what I shouldn’t share are a wee bit blurred. Here in the blogging world, we can say things like “Hi, I’m Jess, I’m 21. I have a 15 month old son and just got married.” and then continue on to spill our entire life stories.

And, since my “interaction” with people for the last like two years {save for Matt and my recent trips to playgroup} has only been my blog and the blogging community, well…my filter on what is appropriate “first date” conversation is blurred.

I don’t know how to fix this, because …as I said, I am “absent-minded” by nature. When having conversations, or doing anything really I’m usually thinking about a thousand other things. And it’s hard to stop my ways because they are, well, MY WAYS.

As if mom-dating wasn’t hard enough, add “sucking at it” to the list..eh? Go me.

How are you at ‘mom-dating’? Good? Bad? Don’t care? Or am I like one of the only people who really thinks about this and wants to have mom friends that I can really relate to IRL {cause I do have quite a few online, and you guys rock but…coffee dates?? yanno??? I still love yas though!}.

I probably am the only one who really stresses about this. But I could SO use a nice mom with a kid Nolan’s age with whom I could certainly relate to locally! *

*I might add that there IS one nice mom with a daughter a little younger than Nolan, she’s very sweet. BUT she might be moving soon so I’m trying not get my hopes up that we’ll be BFFS lmfao. What can I say? I’m just guarding my heart? lol. 😉

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25 Comments

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25 responses to “I suck at ‘Mom-Dating’.

  1. Blaine

    Okay, wow. Except for this sentence: “Hi, I’m Jess, I’m 21. I have a 15 month old son and just got married.” I could have written this. It’s written about me. That is me. Wait, did I write this? WHO ARE YOU? ARE YOU ME?

    That’s enough crazy for now.

    Change that sentence to: “Hi, I’m Blaine, I’m 27. I have a 16 month old son and got married 2 years ago.” and then it’s all true about me.

    I suck at Mom-dating. Mostly because I don’t even get out there to meet other moms. That’s the hard part for me. I feel safer staying home and playing with Eric alone. The playgroup place here has really limited summer hours, and all of the times I CAN go, is during Eric’s nap, so I can’t go. Stupid. Frustrating.

    And who says we can’t have coffee? We’ll just meet in… Eastern Saskatchewan. Wait… no. That would be at least a 18 hour drive for me. Maybe not.

    Well, we could each have a coffee and be on the phone? lol

    • I changed Nolan’s nap schedule to allow for play group 🙂 plus, he was having two short naps, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. I make him hold of to 12pm, then I put him down for a nap and he sleeps until 2-2:30, sometimes even 3!

      And that would be THE BEST conversation ever. We need to figure out how to get it on video, before we do it though because you can’t re-do the first awkward conversation 😉

      Plus, I sound deeply scary on the phone. Just saying. Like a 12 year old or something.

      • Blaine

        Eric is kind of going back and forth between needing two and needing one. If I force him to have one when he really seems to need two, then he’s a really bitchy little boy. lol

        He’s got 4 molars coming in right now, so he’s sleeping more, but bitchy when he’s up. :S He’s been napping for over 2 hours already, and at 4 (in 3 hours), he’ll go down again.

        Screwing with his nap schedule for play group things is not going to work for us, unfortunately. As it is, I basically have 3 hour windows to leave the house, either in the afternoon (when I have to feed him lunch right after he wakes up, so it’s more like 2 hours, anyway) and in the evening, when I have to feed him a snack and supper, so it’s difficult then, too.

        I pretty much don’t leave the house because my schedule revolves around Eric needing a ton a sleep and a ton of food. lol
        ***
        I think to get that conversation on video, we’d pretty much both have to video it on our own end, respectively, then we’ll send our video to one another, and see if we can mash it together for youtube. lol

        That would be interesting to do… We’d each need our own videographer. I’d need one that can keep up, since every time a phone is put to my ear, I walk or do dishes or cook or do laundry, or, or, or… I just have to do things when I am on the phone. Weird, I know.

        Huh. I sound like a 12 year old, too. I have a weird high pitched voice, apparently, and sound like a little girl. Which makes it difficult to talk shop with a contractor when I just want some darn eaves troughs put up! lol 😀

      • I just had A STRONG desire to call you Blaine, just so we could both be 12 year old girls on the phone together – because I? I also sound like a 12 year old girl. ***and I know, you were also saying that in response to my already telling you it, but still. I’ll say it again. I SOUND LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL.

        Its difficult planning things around Nolan, but from the sounds of it I have it a LITTLE easier than you do! Although my kid also loves to eat. I’m just glad he’s content sleeping once throughout the day. And going to bed early.

        But yes, let’s schedule a phone conversation! xoxo

      • Blaine

        Yeah, it kind of sounds like Nolan is a little more easygoing, but Eric’s far from a terrible toddler, too. 🙂 He just seems to need a lot more sleep than most kids. (Which, I’m told, runs in our family. Or at least it seems more common in our family than others.)

        Pretty much anytime is good for me, except anytime from this Friday to possibly next Wednesday (have 2 sets of guests coming out to stay for a few days each).

        Just keep in mind when it is 10 a.m. there, it’s still only 8 a.m. here, and I’m sleeping. lol

  2. Cri

    OK well. i can guarantee you that next year this will be my problem. so THANKS more things to be worried about. lol. You are so cool Jess, I would move to North Bay for you if I could. we can have webcam play dates! I am a genius!! 😀 also very very tired. and hey i hung out with you when you were all drugged up and you weren’t even weird then, just weirdly overheating constantly. lol.

    • HAH. I have a whole LIST of things to worry about, I’m definitely not really a blog that pregnant first time moms should read lmfao. I make them go “um, WHHHAT? So, not only do I have to worry about getting absolutely NO sleep for the next 18 years, but I also have to worry about MOM-DATING?!” heh.

      And it was because of the DRUGS, they made me hot lmfao

  3. I totally get what you mean! I have my best friend, who has a daughter Brooke’s age &we’ve been best friends since middle school but she only has Thursdays and weekends off! I would love to make new friends but I don’t even know how! LOL! When people talk to me at the park I just act all shy and awkward! haha! Which is not how I am at all!! What is wrong with us?! Too bad we don’t live closer! Then we could be awkward together! Yes!

  4. Ok, try not even having a kid to break the ice. SUCKS! Trying to make friends is so hard.

    It is so much like dating. Maybe even harder than dating because wearing a shirt that highlights your cleavage doesn’t get you through the first date. ::sigh::

    You are not alone in the awkward friend making. I’m right there with ya sister.

  5. I’m 36 and have an almost 16 year old and a kindegartner. That makes for an awkward introduction. The parents that have kids my son’s age look at me like I’m horrible for having an older daughter. Those that have kids my daughter’s age are a good 10-15 yrs older than me. I’m stuck in the middle. I have no idea what to do, so I did what I do best….say screw it and just pretend it doesn’t exist. I’m hoping that kindegarten brings on some new friends.

    Good luck! We can do this 🙂

  6. You know I SO agree with you on this one! It’s so hard to meet moms I can relate yo. I think it’s because I’m quirky, weird and artsy. That’s why I only have a few mom friends. I wish you lived here Jess!

  7. Vicky

    I hear you on this one. I suck at it to. Even if our kids are playing at school, I suck at going up and introducing myself to them. And then, like you, making conversation is hard. You could say I have a dry biting sense of humor and alot of times people think I am serious when I am joking around. Its hard!!!!

    • I have the same issue! I have a very aquired sense of humor and sarcasm has always been used heavily. A lot of people just don’t know how to talk to me. Then there’s the whole ‘spilling my life story out’ for all to hear/see. Definitely no mystery with me…

      But the way I was seeing it was…I’d rather know as much about someone immediately, so I could tell if we’d be “compatable” as mom-friends.

  8. there is one girl who i know who has a little girl tristans age but shes nt interested and she has stated that to me.

  9. I jumble my words, too! And I just spew out random things. Like, things that don’t make sense to anyone else but crack me up. I need to come visit you!!

    • YES YOU DO! We could spew out random, jumble words in conversation all day long.
      😉 I would love to meet you’re gorgeous face!

      • Blaine

        Can you imagine if we all got together? We’d be awkwardly talking, clumsily tripping, spewing out random jumbled sentences, and sounding like 12 year olds (on the phone, and I think I sound like it IRL too)… So it would be fun! Like being drunk when we’re sober! lol

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