I want to sucker punch the asshole who invented this bra.

It is so hard to find a good bra these days, it’s even harder than finding a good man. It’s even harder than mom-dating, for crap’s sake! I haven’t been able to find a bra I love and am comfortable in like, ever, in all my years of bra wearing.

But the recent bras available? The ones that attempted to mimic the ‘removable strap bra’, and placed removable clasps at the top of the shoulder and the back of the bra, but not the front, thus allowing it to come undone when out in public but NOT allowing the strap to be removed completely? THEY ARE FUCKING ASSHOLES YO!

In fact, just in the time it’s taken me to write the above two paragraphs, my bra has come undone twice. And I don’t care what you menfolk say, that is not a good thing. Chasing a toddler around with a bra that constantly malfunctions is not cool, or fun.

I even took a picture to further explain where the issue with this bra lies {and yes, I cut my face out. You’re welcome}. Seriously, who puts one of those {easily, I might add} removable clasps on the shoulder?

This bra has even malfunctioned while at an extremely nice, expensive restaurant with Matt on our honeymoon. While I was wearing a low-cut red dress. Nice huh?

I would burn this bra, destory it, if I could find my other bra, which seems to be MIA. But even still, that other bra has the same stupid removable clasps on the shoulders. And although it doesn’t malfunction as much as this stupid bra, it’s still extremely annoying.

Who invented this shit? I want to sucker punch them in the FACE.

{and I bet a man invented it too}.

Do you have any funny bra malfunctioning stories? I can’t be the only one here angry with how they make bras now.

P.S. why can’t we just not wear bras? They suck.

P.S.S. We’re off to the play group now. YAY! We get to escape from the loud construction workers out front and whinning dogs {who are not impressed with the loud construction workers}.

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30 Comments

Filed under #FAIL, annoyances, crazy mama, dumbass people, I don't know, I'm kinda a lunatic, just thoughts, pictures, the random, um what?, updates

30 responses to “I want to sucker punch the asshole who invented this bra.

  1. lol i here ya abut those clasps. i remeber in high school i had bra’s with those and that was never the time or place for them to come undone. but alas we can just not wear bra’s at leaast not at a double d lol. when i find the most amazing bra ever when i go shoping in winnipeg at the end of the month. ill let you know šŸ˜›

    • I just CAN’T stand it. plus, I don’t have the money to buy new bras until I know how much Matt’s school supplies are gonna cost. AND he also needs clothes too…BAH expenses!!

      And I *might* be able to do it, but I don’t want to because I’m self concious!

  2. What?!?! I have never seen a bra like that. It seems like the worst idea EVER! Why in the world would that ever be useful? If it were me I would have burned that bra by now.

    I have real issues finding bras I’m comfortable in. I hate under wires and can’t stand padding. As you can imagine that puts me in sports bras most of the time. Try finding a not padded bra that’s not a training bra. Almost impossible. ::sigh:: I guess I should just grow up and wear normal bras.

    But they’re soooo uncomfortable! ::whines::

    • I can’t šŸ˜¦ bras are expensive, and this mama is broke LOL! Truthfully, I LOVE the padded bras! It gives me that extra OOMPF that I need lmfao.
      But I hate the dreaded underwire. If I could find a bra that held those suckers up and gave me a bit of extra OOMPF and didn’t have an underwire, oh and WASN’T gross and nasty and old lady looking, I’d buy a thousand of em in a minute. Well, maybe not a thousand.,..but still.

  3. oh i hate bras…you most definitely are not alone…all the ones i find in my size have the most uncomfortable unwire known to man…and the straps suck and oh i should not get started…i hate when they start coming undone when they aren’t supposed to…lol

  4. tierney

    hey there, i know you may not be interested but after my most recent back surgery i fell in LOVE with sports bras. needless to say, i don’t have the largest boobs so they fit me perfectly for day-to-day t-shirt wear and are uber comfortable. try walmart if you’re interested, i think i got a 3 pack fruit of the loom for $12.00. at least then you’d be comfortable but supported and not so insecure. (plus, to get 3 for $12 is super cost-efficient!)

  5. Blaine

    Try being so large that you have to go to expensive bra boutiques just to find a bra that fits, and of course with that, comes the price tag. (Not to mention the closest one to me is 3 hours away, so add the fuel cost to that price tag.)

    Most bras I have to buy are $90 to $150. You’d think for that price, they would be comfortable, last forever, do the dishes and babysit your kid, but no. Not at all. I only have more than one bra right now because I happened to drop into a place that was closing out, and I got them for half price.

    They are, for the most part, comfortable (with a wire, because beyond a certain size, you NEED that wire or you end up with a floppy, saggy, odd shaped, bosom that looks like you need some corrective surgery, STAT.) but the sheer weight makes it impossible to be continuously comfortable.

    Not to mention the weird dips in my shoulders. I’m only 27 and I already have almost a half in dip in my shoulder! My Mom’s is deeper, and I’ve always wondered wtf when I saw it. But now I know.

    I do highly recommend going to a proper bra boutique (smaller sizes are cheaper, and if nothing else, they can measure you and give you a price range, or write down the ones you like with their prices, so you can save up and come back) because department store bras are shit. There is no two ways about it. The ones in the boutiques are made better, with better fabrics, wires, stitching. They don’t come apart, and if the people there teach you how to wear a bra properly, strap problems are solved.

    It costs more, but you will look better in a better bra, and usually feel better, too.

    And most bra boutiques don’t sell crappy bras with stupid shoulder clasp things that can come off while you are trying to eat supper with your husband on your Honeymoon. A time when it’s necessary to be super sexy. lol šŸ™‚

    ^^^Look at me, all preachy. Hahaha.

    • Dude, 90 bucks for ONE bra? I don’t think my bank account can support that decision LOL. At least not this week!

      But soon enough. I will get my ass to a bra boutique, JUST FOR YOU. I’ll take pictures too, JUST FOR YOU. Cause I know you’d want them.

      #youresicklikethat

      I just hashtagged. AGAIN. I rule.

      • Blaine

        Keep in mind it was $90 to $150. I told them my price range was about $100 and they kept bringing me super expensive ones. I felt like screaming at them that I wasn’t rich!

        But yeah, the price of these bras alone is good enough reason for me to be planning to have a reduction surgery once I am done having kids. Besides the back pain, out of proportion-ness, and just the ‘OMG WHAT THE HELL IS ON YOUR CHEST? THAT *IS* YOUR CHEST? OMG.’ looks that I get. Yeah.

        #bigboobsarenotawesome

        #inreferencetoyourhashtag… #Maaaaaaaybe

      • #stopmakingfunofmeforhashtaggingbiotch
        #imagonnasmackya
        #justkiddingsorry

        šŸ˜€

      • Blaine

        I hashtag in facebook sometimes, wasn’t trying to make fun of you. So there. #stophittingme

  6. That thing sounds evil. Do you have a Victoria’s Secret? Their 7-Way Biofit is dreamy. My sister got one and she even has cleavage when wearing it strapless. I’m getting one as soon as I can put some extra money aside and get properly measured. I’m pretty such I’m a 36C at this point. Sigh.

    Anyway, the bra itself is a little expensive — $55 here — but so worth it. At least, according to my sister. I want one!

  7. Funny you should mention malfunctioning bras. My bra decided to spontaneously bust open today at a playdate! Thankfully , I was wearing a tee-shirt type maternity dress, but still, it shocked me! I was like “Damn! Have my boobs gotten that big?”

  8. I just removed my (extremely comfortable) bra to check the manufacturer for you. Because I am THAT dedicated a reader.

    It’s a back-hook underwire by Vanity Fair. $15.00 as I recall.

    You’re welcome.

    Much love.

    And support.

    Snort.

  9. I have a friend who does NOT wear a bra and she is…shall we say…endowed? My cousin and I are a similar size in that everything is unfortunately too large and she suggested I do like she does and just buy training bras. šŸ˜¦ That sounds like a horrid thing to have to do in your 30’s, but I bet they’d fit and be more comfortable. Oh the joys of having the body of a 10 year old. As for the bra you have, I have never seen one like that. Perhaps they don’t make them for women that small? LOL

  10. Vicky

    I really think men are the designers for most bra’s. I’ve yet to find a truly comfortable one. I am rather well-endowed up top, and there are no sexy bras. Just stuff a grandmother would wear and they are all pointy (I know you know what I mean). And forget anything strapless….

    When ever I do find something that fits and is somewhat youthful, I buy all I can, which in my size they usually only have 2 or 3 if I am lucky. Then when I go back, the company has stopped making them or changed them in some way.

    UGHHHHH! BRAS ARE AGGREVATING!

  11. Bras! Oh man! apparently even women who are a 36C need to have padding! I mean WTF!!! it’s bad enough your boobs are this huge, padding too?!
    Forget the inventor, I think the effing designer is a man. Some perv who thinks women wear bras to entertain people and not hold things up…
    Looks like there’s been enough talk here, so I know we’re all on the same page
    To be honest, I wait for the minute I can get home from work and take my damn bra off! Such a relief!

    • K THAT I don’t get lol. Padding for big chested women seems a bit…contradicting? lmfao. Maybe if it’s the stuff on the bottom that pushes the boobies up, but full out padding? Hmm..weird. lmfao.

      I want to take mine off now…LMFAO
      Hope that wasn’t creepy, but you know what I mean.
      I HATE BRAS.

      Everyone; LETS BURN THE BITCHES!

      • Blaine

        I think they think the padding will help ‘control’ larger breasts, since, well, there’s more to control and support.

        And you think 36C is huge? Really? LOL…

  12. mscat

    Sounds like a job for eBay! I just bought three VS bras, each for a total of under $10 including shipping. Love their Ipex line. Smooth, comfortable, and last forever.

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