50s Housewife Beliefs

I never thought in a million years that I would be a domestic goddess. When I was a kid, I hated doing chores. I hid from my chores and made up excuses to get out of doing stuff that I didn’t want to do. They called me “Messy Jessie” for a reason.

But, since becoming a mom and living with Matt…since marrying Matt…I’ve changed.

I actually enjoy cleaning, and cooking. I actually enjoy doing laundry. Sure, there are days when I hide from my chores, but for the most part I clean every single day. Our house is always clean. It may not always be organized but it’s always clean.

My granny once said:

After working all day, a man likes to come home to a home-cooked meal, or at least smell it cooking in the oven, and a clean house. He likes to fall asleep in clean sheets and have clean clothes for the next day.

And it’s true. If anyone knows about a successful marriage, it’s my granny. She’s been married for nearly 60 years {I think, I know she’s been married for well over 50, & I’m pretty sure we threw her a 50th wedding anniversary party 10 years ago so yeah}.

I do these things…cooking, cleaning, laundry…to show Matt my appreciation for all that he does. He’s in school full-time right now, taking a welder/pipe fitter program, and working part-time fusion-welding. He’s working so hard to ensure stability in our future, he’s working so hard to bring us up in the world. The least I can do is cook a couple home-cooked meals a week for him, make his lunch and keep our home clean. He doesn’t believe that I need to do all of it by myself, and he does help out a lot and he gives me breaks. But I like having it all done for him when he gets home.

I enjoy doing all those things too. I enjoy having a yummy, home-cooked meal with my family every night. I enjoy relaxing in a clean house. I enjoy having clean clothes for everyone. I enjoy when things are put away and tidy. When my environment is chaotic, I am chaotic.

Someone once told me that I was doing too much for him, that he should do more around the house. I looked at her, this person, as if she had eight heads. This was during the summer, when Matt was working full-time as a laborer. He was exhausted when he got home and barely had the energy to play with Nolan, but he did anyway. The last thing I was going to do was force him to do a bunch of chores around the house, a bunch of chores that I was fully capable of doing by myself.

This same person is divorced now, so that just proves…what, exactly?

Perhaps that when you’re both working full-time, it makes more sense to divide up the chores and all that. But I’m a stay-at-home-mom, I’m here all the time.

Honestly, I’m all for equal rights…but when you’re a stay at home parent, why the hell not be “housewifey” like that? Why not keep the house clean and keep the evenings for just the two of you, after the kiddos are in bed?

That’s what I do. I keep the evenings free of all the “chores”, because I’d much rather snuggle with him on the couch and just relax. I do everything during the day, so we have those evenings together.

Sure, I have lazy days…who doesn’t? I’m not perfect. There are some days when Nolan makes it a little difficult to get everything done I need to in the day, as I’m focused on playing with him and making sure he’s learning and growing. But for the most part, I stay on top of everything. I use naptime to heavy duty clean. Cleaning relaxes me. Having a clean home makes me happy. Me being happy makes Matt happy.

I think that most marriages don’t last because a lot of people are in it for self-benefit. Like, they do nice things for each other so that the other person does nice things back, you know? I love doing nice things for Matt because I love to make him happy, making him happy makes me happy. I think that most marriages {and relationships} don’t last for these reasons. There just seems to be so much negativity in the world, and we’re forgetting about the little things. I see so many people who forget to appreciate each other.

So yeah, I sort of buy into the 50 housewife beliefs {some of them, anyway}, what of it?

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29 responses to “50s Housewife Beliefs

  1. AMEN, sister.

    you’re living my dream.

  2. Ro

    Uhhh IM ALL OVER THIS!
    Even as a working Mom I feel this… in the spirit of equal rights… if being a stay at home Mom is equal to a job.. your job has responsibilities. Except.. your hubby isnt a boss.. he is a true partner. Who is pulling his weight and as such, lets be real.. you should pull yours.

    Even as a working Mom I always take care of the household things, because 1- it makes me happy to enjoy the results. 2 it makes me happy that my hubby can feel free to have people over at any time no question 3. ESPECIALLY with a kid its important. We are examples for our children.

    I never understood why people consider being a good housewife- equating to servitude…

    Love this post!
    Ro

    • I’ve also never understood the whole “servitude” outlook when it comes to being a good housewife. When that person said I was “doing too much”, I honestly didn’t get it – she very much believed that a woman doing ALL the house keeping, cooking etc was “servitude” and unfair.

      Personally? I think it’s unfair that Matt works so hard and I don’t work outside the house. This is my contribution to our family.

      Matt also knows that he can have people over without worrying, save for the kiddo toys hahaha. I let Nolan play until it’s meal time or sleep time, then we clean his toys up. But the floors etc are always clean, as is the kitchen!

      And thanks! 😀

  3. Kelly

    It’s a hard thing to admit to YOURSELF, let alone publicly (because of that whole reaction of you have eight heads mess)… but once you do, it’s kind of easier to enjoy it. This way you’re not second guessing yourself or wondering WTF is wrong with you. The answer is nothing. It may not work for EVERY woman, EVERY couple, but I think we dismiss the option too easily because we were brought up in a generation that was taught that women are equal to (if not better than) men, and being ONLYa wife and mother was a waste of our potential and an almost insult to the feminist movement. Personally? I agree with you. And if it makes you and your home happier? I say stick with it despite the reactions of others. Lol…. But somehow I’m guessing you don’t let those reactions stop you, Jess :-).

    • Haha no those reactions definitely do not stop me bahaha! We do what makes US happy as a family. This makes us happy. I’m not saying I’m NEVER going to work or go to school, I will, I’m just saying that now…especially while Nolan is young…this is my job, my contribution. And I enjoy it. I will probably not enjoy ANY job as much as I enjoy this one 😉

      You’re right, we too often shrug that aside because society has taught us that to not work is against everything we’re worth. It’s silly really!

  4. Honestly, until I became a mother I was a slob haha. I hate to admit it but it’s true. Now I’m somewhat of a clean freak. Not a neat freak, but a clean freak. I can handle toys all over the place as long as the actual surface area has been mopped, vacuumed, or dusted within the week. I used to let laundry pile up until there was nothing left for me to wear…sometimes I’d even buy something new to avoid laundry…now I do it the moment I have enough for one load.

    I kind of hate my obsession with it though because sometimes I really should just “let it go” and relax for a day.

    But with all that said, I have to agree with your Granny who is just like my Gramma. I consider my Gramma to be the domestic goddess of the century because she had 10 children and managed to maintain a clean house and cook a great meal every day for her husband of 60 years.

    My household runs very much like yours. I do the cooking and the cleaning. I get up with our children at night. I’m happy to do it because he works full time (and usually overtime on Saturdays) shift work and this enables me to be able to stay at home with our babies instead of leaving them with a babysitter.

    • Dude we have A LOT in common, are you sure we aren’t long lost twins?! LOL! My granny even lives in “that neck of the woods”.

      I honestly love being a home maker. It’s fun, I can get creative with my days, and I’m always busy. My “job” entails different things every day.

      I get the best rewards when Matt comes home for the day and just relaxes the moment he walks in the door. When he sees his dinner waiting for him in the microwave and just grins like that’s the best thing ever. Matt is fully capable of cooking, and he loves to do it, but he loves it when I cook for him too 🙂

      Honestly, it’s a shame we don’t live closer to one another. Coffee dates and play dates would be awesome!

  5. Jess,

    I love this post! I do. And this is a single girl talking. 🙂 Life’s all about balance and if Matt’s the working out of home half then you’re the working at home half. It works itself out. And that’s great. I love this post. I love that you’re making this look good.

    Hugs

  6. In a sense, you are dividing up the chores; Matt brings home the bacon and ensures your family’s stability, while you hold down the fort. It’d be different if he was all, “You have to stay home, and I demand a hot meal ready when I get home,” like some Stepford wife bloggers we know… You guys work together, and that’s what makes a marriage work.

    I also completely agree that less chaotic surroundings make you feel better. Just doing the little bit of organizing around my house has made me feel a whole lot better… and I’m not even close to finished!

    • Ahh…Matt would never do that. He doesn’t really LIKE it when I make his lunch, he says he’s fully capable {and he is}. For the most part, he makes it because it does make him uneasy if I just do it for him. If I’m letting him sleep in, I’ll make it LOL!

      Dude my bedroom is the CLEANEST it has ever been! I should take pictures, but that’d be kinda pathetic lmfao.

  7. I work, but really Mike makes all the real money, so I have no problem doing the cooking and cleaning most of the times. I mean, he bought the food. I cook it. Balance. I mean, really. If Matt worked all the time and you just sat on your butt watching tv, then you expected him to do stuff when he got home, you’d be a pretty bad person, you know?

  8. See I admire this viewpoint because I am admittedly selfish. I want to be pampered and taken care of. I like cooking for Wil and I like the fact that he enjoys what I make him etc. But I want to be loved on and cooked and cleaned for. I’m kind of spoiled though, because he does clean. ;0.

    It’s really cute that you love taking care of Matt though. And Amen sister! You take care of your home and your man!

  9. I agree! Last year, although I was finishing college, I had a lot more free time than my boyfriend so I did a lot of the stuff around the house. Not all of it, because I still had to study, but a lot. I didn’t mind at all! I mean, if I’m gonna be home all day (I had Fridays and a lot of Thursdays off as well as weekends) I might as well clean up so we can both relax when he gets home. This [school] year has been a bit harder because I’m not home as much so now it’s more like 50/50… which is fair I think, given that we both work full time and we’re both pretty tired when we get home. It’s difficult to maintain the balance though!

  10. Anyone who thinks it doesn’t work should try it. There’s an email about the whole 50’s housewife thing goes around every so often and I’ve tried some of the things in it and they WORK. Guy is happy as a clam, treats you like a queen. It’s weird, but it must have something to do with their strange wiring. I’d rather be a stay-at-home wife (my kids are full-time school now) then anything else in the world. Perhaps I should blog about it sometime.

  11. Equal Rights does not need to mean Equal Chores. Good for you for doing what works best for you in your relationship. I am home, I am doing all the housework. When I go back to work we’ll divide it up a little again, but Dawg works very hard and it pleases me to care for him. And yes, I was raised by a single mother who taught me that men are my equals and to strive for way more than Housewife. But now I get to decide what I want, and I like to be a Housewife as much as I can. 🙂

  12. angel

    I admire you greatly! I work at a daycare anywhere from 4 to 11 hrs a day. I’ve learned the days i work 4 hrs I get so much done and I’m happier and the days I’m working 11 hrs the house become a wreck and I get stressed! I love a clean house. We will be moving into our new home next week and I’m hoping to be able to give this a shot and see if its for us. I’ve loved the idea since I was a little girl and hoping I will love it! 🙂
    Again…. I admire you and think you’re awesome. Haha

    I’ll let ya know how it works.

  13. Pingback: Take THAT, apartment!!! | The Bottle Chronicles

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