Bad Mood Bear

I am in a bad mood today. I’m stressed, anxious, and exhausted. I’ve had far too many late nights over the past little while and needless to say…they’ve caught up with me! Today has kicked my ass and then some, and despite my nap this afternoon I’m still dragging ass and grouchy.

I barely got any sleep last night, between Nolan’s sleep crying and my back. My back was causing me murderous pain, probably because of the way I was sitting during our evening TV watching. So from 2am-3am, I tossed and turned and whined. I ditched my pillow even. Finally I fell asleep, but it was NOT peaceful.

Then my morning started off with the walk-in-clinic “re-dial” game. I wanted to book an appointment for myself and Nolan. The walk-in-clinic we usually go to opens at 1pm and at 9pm you can call and book an appointment for that day. Monday mornings are always rat races, I played the “re-dial” game for literally half an hour. When I finally got through, I tried to book an appointment. I gave the receptionist my name and she instantly interrupted me.

“You owe us for a foot clinic you missed in May. We won’t be able to see you until you pay the $70 charge.” this was said in an icy, short tone {after I was interrupted}.

“Ok…but I don’t have $70 today…” was my response, because I don’t. I was about to ask if I could still be seen with a promise to pay this Friday, but didn’t get far at all because I was again cut off.

“We won’t be seeing you until you pay the $70 charge”.

Ok then.

I was deeply irritated because this foot clinic thing is bogus. I signed up for it, yes, but I never received a call. {Who knows, maybe I did but at the time we were living with Matt’s dad & step-mom, I often didn’t get calls}. I guess I just forgot and assumed they weren’t doing it since I never got the call.

And to me, $70 seems VERY excessive for a missed foot clinic appointment, and the receptionist shouldn’t have had a bitchy tone with me. You catch more bees with honey, not vinegar.

Obviously I’m going to pay this fine, despite the fact that I think its WAY too much for a missed appointment AND despite the fact that they never clarified that “missing” their foot clinic would result in a fee. But I’m still mad about it.

So that put me in a foul mood from the get go. Mostly because I’m feeling insanely guilty for the amount of unnecessary I spent in the last month that shouldn’t have been spent. The tattoo, my hairdo, the three times I went out for lunch with Nolan, the pizza we didn’t have to order, and the 26er of vodka I didn’t need to buy are all weighing heavily on my mind. The fact that we’re tapped until Friday because I slipped up so much also weighs heavily on my conscious.

Throughout it all, Matt isn’t angry with me. Despite the fact if the tables were turned *I* would undoubtedly be infuriated with him. But I don’t let him make mistakes like that, so why do I let myself?

I’m just having one of those days where I need to pout and feel sorry for myself just because I know I screwed up. I know I should have been smarter about our money. I really don’t think I’m to blame for the whole missed foot clinic thing, but I also don’t think they’re entirely too blame either. It just sucks. Especially since I’ve been in several times since May with Nolan and they never once mentioned this fee to me. Or it would have been paid by now {because I usually don’t suck THIS much with our money}.

I still have another four hours to get through before I can fall into bed and call it a night.

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16 Comments

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16 responses to “Bad Mood Bear

  1. money is always a HUGE stress (hint: it’s been the main topic for the last, i don’t know, four weeks on my blog?)… and i can only imagine how much MORE stressful it is when you have your own little family to worry about.

    i just have to make sure dan and i have enough cash for some food (even if we do live off bagels & cream cheese for weeks at a time), and that moose has cat food to keep his little belly full, and clean litter so his little butt doesn’t bleed… but still.

    it must be a mom thing- the guilt, i mean. it may seem like it adds up a lot (the hair, the tattoo, etc)… but you’re a good mom, jess. you’re entitled to treat yourself sometimes. so you slipped up a little and you can’t cover the (COMPLETELY unforeseen $70 douchebag charge), so what? nolan has food in his belly and you pay all of your bills. your child is not without. you haven’t failed as a parent, in any way shape or form.

    my pops always told me that no matter what, with every pay… i should treat myself to something otherwise i’ll go crazy being a broke-ass. even if it’s a dinner date, or putting away some money for a tattoo, or getting my hair done, or buying new face cream. make sure you do something small for YOU to reward yourself and keep yourself sane amidst all your efforts to save and live your day-to-day life without feeling like you’re drowning all the time.

    it’s tough, and money is a whore who will sleep with you and never call you back… but you can’t beat yourself up for spending it a little freely here and there. you’re a good person, and an amazing selfless mama who DESERVES to get her hair done, or eat a slice of pizza, or get another tattoo after THREE YEARS of waiting- a tattoo for your son, no less.

    today sucked. kick it in the butt, have a low-key night, and start fresh tomorrow.

    kisses.

    – e

  2. I’d call again and ask to speak to someone in charge. Maybe it’s a mistake, being that they never mentioned it before.

    • It might not have shown up under Nolan’s name, though?

      I agree that a call to the office manager might be a good idea. They should accept some sort of payment arrangement so that you can be seen sooner, and maybe mentioning the rude treatment would be good, too.

      • It probably isn’t under Nolan’s name, but still…I’m his MOTHER. Also, if I owned them money why didn’t they tell me about it ages ago so I could PAY that?!

        Yeah, I’ll end up doing that.

      • You would think they would have mailed out a notice for something like that. At least one immediately, and then another as it became ‘past due’ or whatever… Especially since they are now currently refusing you medical services as a result. 😦

  3. Can I just say that I love that *someone* got all up on her high horse when you mentioned the $70 for a missed appointment on facebook.

    Haha, so dumb.

  4. SarcasticTee

    Saw the appt thing on facebook and went to comment, but it was a heated debate so I chose to not partake, lol. Seventy bucks seems BRUTAL for one missed appt with no reminder and no mentioning of it in the last almost year. I say that person on the phone was a d-bag to you and I hope it all works out.
    I know what you mean about feeling guilty when you’re not the best with money and I just have myself to deal with financially.
    Everyone’s entitled to a “woe is me” day. I hope your back feels better and you cheer up tomorrow. Have a great Tuesday 🙂

  5. I am PMSing large. So I am absolutely miserable. Once again my life mirrors yours. Particularly where the guilt for spending is concerned. Ugh. We spent $200 at Walmart last week. *Stupid*

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