Category Archives: life as I know it

An Announcement

I was going to keep this a secret for a while, but I’m terribly bad at secrets. It’s a proven fact. Especially about “exciting” things, I just can’t keep my flap closed. And since Matt is also having a horrible time keeping this secret, I figured…why not?

That’s right folks, two lines…we’re pregnant! Apparently, I’m Fertile Myrtle.

We decided in December that we were ready to add to our little family, so I finished up my BC cycle and went off it in January. Then we started “trying”. By “trying”, I of course mean we just did it a bunch of times, as per usual, and WHAMBAM. Pregnancy? Matt is going to buy me a Staples “that was easy” button and duct tape it to my belly, because…well, that was easy?

We found out February 5th, 2011. I went to a walk in clinic on Wednesday night and they confirmed it. I’m just two days shy of five weeks, and my estimated due date is October 16th, 2011. I am absolutely excited about having an October baby, and…dare I say it…but I’m hoping the baby will be born on October 21st, my dad’s birthday! I doubt that the doctors would let me go five days past my due date, but it’d be sweet to give him a birthday grandbaby!

I know that most women don’t breathe a word of their pregnancy until they are passed the 12th week point. The doctor at the walk in clinic was kind enough to remind me {every time he opened his mouth} that there is a 1 in 5 chance for miscarriage, and he was kind enough to tell me not to “tell everybody just yet”. Nice huh? Definitely doesn’t help calm my nerves at all about this whole pregnancy thing.  But the way I see it…either way, I’m going to blog about the results. I’m over the fear that telling people will “jinx” my pregnancy – I’m not even high risk for a miscarriage! Stressing about that isn’t good anyway. Besides, I spilled the beans about my pregnancy with Nolan just a mere days after finding out, and I was around 5 weeks then too.

We’ve alerted the troops {family} and some close friends, and now I’m alerting all of you. Deep breath.

I was going to wait until I was a little further along…but frankly? Keeping this a “secret” is pretty damn tiring. It’s happy news, so why not share it?! Not to mention, I’ve already “popped” a bit, and it’s already a little noticeable…

I didn’t look like that until about 20 weeks with Nolan! Crazy huh? I know, with your second you pop quickly so I’m trying not to get too offended by the fact that I can barely see my box when I sit down to pee and I’m only four {nearly five} weeks.

I’m super excited! This is our first “planned” pregnancy, but I feel as clueless as I did with Nolan! Seriously, it’s shocking just how much you forget about being pregnant until you’re pregnant again. I didn’t expect to be so exhausted {hence my lazy last couple of weeks}. I didn’t expect the dreams to start so early, either. I’m eating enough to feed a small village too. Thank goodness the nausea hasn’t set in! Although the smell {and look!} of fish is more than enough to turn my belly completely inside out. Of course, the look and smell of fish has always turned my stomach! Gross!!!

I’m also super impatient. How in the hell was I pregnant before? I’m impatient for my first ultrasound, to hear little bean’s heart beat, and to find out what sex little bean is. Boy or girl, it will most definitely be loved! Although I do have a secret desire for a girl, only because Matt says this is our LAST baby and I would like to have a daughter too. Boys are amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I’m hoping for that little girl – the outfits, the girly things, watching her be daddy’s little girl…so sweet! Plus it’s due time someone on Matt’s side had a girl!!! But if little bean happens to be a boy, then so be it! I’ll be just as happy with two little boys as I would be with a girl and a boy.

So, there you have it! There’s my big secret 😀 our big secret! Nolan’s known for quite some time. He keeps rubbing/tapping my belly and saying “baybeee!” So cute!

I have a feeling the next 9 months are going to fly by.

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Take THAT, apartment!!!

Over the past little while, I haven’t been on top of my “domestic duties”, so to speak. I know, this confession is shocking coming from me, huh? The one who actually believes in the 50s housewife mindset {to a degree, anyway}. But it’s true! I’ve been slacking, and then some! The soles of my slippers are caked in squished raisins – and that tells you about the cleanliness of my kitchen floor right there.

For the past week, I’ve been super lazy and tired. I think my iron is low – actually I know my iron is low. I don’t get nearly enough red meats, nor do I eat anything else high in iron. So I’ve been lazy, spending most of my afternoons doing nothing but cuddling up my baby boy and reading stories to him. During his nap time, I also nap…or have been, anyway. Our bedroom was a laundry war-zone, piles of dirty scattered about on the floor and baskets of clean stacked high to the ceiling. I was too lazy to fold the clean laundry, and thus didn’t have any baskets for the dirty laundry. Nor did I have any room in the baskets for more clean laundry so I couldn’t just toss it into the washer and dryer to get rid of it. No, that would mean that I would actually have to fold some of the clean clothes. I did manage to stay on top of the dishes, more or less. After all, we don’t have a dish washer and even at my most laziest moments I can’t stand having dirty dishes in my sink. So, go me for that at least!

Yeah, I’ve been the definition of lazy. Even my blogging indicates that, and that’s totally okay. We’re all entitled to moments {er, in my case, weeks} of laziness. I prefer to call it “weeks of rest”, thank you very much.

In any case, I’ve broken out of the fog spell and slapped myself upside the head. I am the one who does the majority of the cleaning {okay, all of it – although hubs does help me tidy up toys in the evening}, because I am the one that gets bothered most by mess and dirty things. I’ve mentioned thousands of times before that Matt does not see messes the way I see them. He’s blind to them. They don’t exist. The man will cook a fantastic dinner, but leave all of the dishes on the counter. I’m lucky if some of them make it into the sink. So, if I’m the only one who does all the majority of the cleaning, you can bet your socks that our apartment needed my love and attention. So this morning, I gave it just that.

A huge chore for me was the recycling under the sink. We have a little blue recycling bin that is supposed to be taken out to our big recycling bin outside when it gets full. However, our big recycling bin is currently buried under tons of snow, I’ve attempted to make Matt dig it out several times before but according to him “it’s frozen to the ground and if he tries to get it out the bottom will come out.” So, we technically don’t have the use of a big recycling bin. I keep forgetting to go to Walmart and pick up a new one {that will we store in Matt’s truck cab}, not to mention Matt missed recycling this week. {He claims it doesn’t matter, because he didn’t have anything to put all the recycling in anyway – since our big bin is, again, buried}. Trust me when I say that the recycling literally piled up to the point where you couldn’t even open the cupboard doors under the sink without tons of it falling out at you. And I kept leaving it, thinking that Matt would deal with it. Pfft, yeah right! Matt deal with a mess?!? Even with my constant bitching about it, it stayed under the sink. He kept saying “oh, I’ll put it all in bags and put it in the back of my truck for now”.

Guess what I did today? I put all of the recycling in bags and then brought it out to Matt’s truck and tossed it in the cab. Now, the cupboard under my sink looks exactly how it’s supposed to…like this:

And Matt’s truck cab is loaded up with bags full of recycling, waiting for the day when we finally get our asses to Walmart to buy a new big recycling bin. Which, if I have anything to do with it, will be happening very soon. I think it looks really trashy {snort, trash…get it!?} and I want that dealt with ASAP. While it brings me such joy to see Matt’s truck cab full of recycling, that joy is dampened by the facts that a) he doesn’t drive his truck during the winter so what kind of punishment is that anyway? and b) as I said, it’s totally trashy and I hate trashy.

So, yeah. That was a huge chore for me this morning. Plus I cleaned the entire kitchen and washed the floors {and picked all the squished raisins off my slippers}. Then I cleaned the bathroom and our bedroom. I’m catching up on laundry {nearly there!} and I’ve vacuumed the livingroom. Our apartment is slowly being restored to it’s original glory, and I love it!

I don’t know why I allow myself to get in lazy moods like that. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does the mood drags on and on and on. Seriously, weeks of laziness? What the hell, me?

I’m glad I finally gave our apartment some tender loving and care, since Matt would like to have his college friend, G, and G’s girlfriend over for a “fondue party” tomorrow night. I’m game because chocolate fondue is bomb! And yes, I know, I should have recruited his help because he wants to have the fondue party, but guess what? I’m sure I’ll be making him clean something in preparation for this “fondue party” – our apartment never stays clean for long!

When I say that Matt doesn’t see messes the way that I see them, I mean simply that. He doesn’t see them. If I tell him to clean something, he’ll do it. I know, the recycling was just him being super lazy and probably unable to see how or where we could store all that recycling without pissing off our landlords {he was thinking truck bed, I was thinking truck cab}.

The best thing about being a stay-at-home-mom is that I only have myself to report to. Matt is completely fine with messes. I, on the other hand, not so much. So the only person I piss off when I get lazy is myself. I don’t piss off any managers or bosses, and I don’t loose my job for slacking. So basically, I can be lazy and still “have a job”. It’s awesome. Plus when I’m feeling lazy and not wanting to clean, it just gives me even more time to read stories to Nolan and play with him. We’ve had tons of snuggles this week!

Oh and by the way, I found Nolan’s other snow boot…it was stuck in his snow pants. So Nolan didn’t actually lose it at all. Mom fail? Totally. Oh well, he doesn’t seem bothered by the misguided blame at all 😉

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Bad Mood Bear

I am in a bad mood today. I’m stressed, anxious, and exhausted. I’ve had far too many late nights over the past little while and needless to say…they’ve caught up with me! Today has kicked my ass and then some, and despite my nap this afternoon I’m still dragging ass and grouchy.

I barely got any sleep last night, between Nolan’s sleep crying and my back. My back was causing me murderous pain, probably because of the way I was sitting during our evening TV watching. So from 2am-3am, I tossed and turned and whined. I ditched my pillow even. Finally I fell asleep, but it was NOT peaceful.

Then my morning started off with the walk-in-clinic “re-dial” game. I wanted to book an appointment for myself and Nolan. The walk-in-clinic we usually go to opens at 1pm and at 9pm you can call and book an appointment for that day. Monday mornings are always rat races, I played the “re-dial” game for literally half an hour. When I finally got through, I tried to book an appointment. I gave the receptionist my name and she instantly interrupted me.

“You owe us for a foot clinic you missed in May. We won’t be able to see you until you pay the $70 charge.” this was said in an icy, short tone {after I was interrupted}.

“Ok…but I don’t have $70 today…” was my response, because I don’t. I was about to ask if I could still be seen with a promise to pay this Friday, but didn’t get far at all because I was again cut off.

“We won’t be seeing you until you pay the $70 charge”.

Ok then.

I was deeply irritated because this foot clinic thing is bogus. I signed up for it, yes, but I never received a call. {Who knows, maybe I did but at the time we were living with Matt’s dad & step-mom, I often didn’t get calls}. I guess I just forgot and assumed they weren’t doing it since I never got the call.

And to me, $70 seems VERY excessive for a missed foot clinic appointment, and the receptionist shouldn’t have had a bitchy tone with me. You catch more bees with honey, not vinegar.

Obviously I’m going to pay this fine, despite the fact that I think its WAY too much for a missed appointment AND despite the fact that they never clarified that “missing” their foot clinic would result in a fee. But I’m still mad about it.

So that put me in a foul mood from the get go. Mostly because I’m feeling insanely guilty for the amount of unnecessary I spent in the last month that shouldn’t have been spent. The tattoo, my hairdo, the three times I went out for lunch with Nolan, the pizza we didn’t have to order, and the 26er of vodka I didn’t need to buy are all weighing heavily on my mind. The fact that we’re tapped until Friday because I slipped up so much also weighs heavily on my conscious.

Throughout it all, Matt isn’t angry with me. Despite the fact if the tables were turned *I* would undoubtedly be infuriated with him. But I don’t let him make mistakes like that, so why do I let myself?

I’m just having one of those days where I need to pout and feel sorry for myself just because I know I screwed up. I know I should have been smarter about our money. I really don’t think I’m to blame for the whole missed foot clinic thing, but I also don’t think they’re entirely too blame either. It just sucks. Especially since I’ve been in several times since May with Nolan and they never once mentioned this fee to me. Or it would have been paid by now {because I usually don’t suck THIS much with our money}.

I still have another four hours to get through before I can fall into bed and call it a night.

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The Details

This morning, I woke up feeling heavy and groggy. All I wanted to do was pull the covers back up over my head and sleep for a few more hours. Obviously, when you have kids who are already awake, you can’t do that. By some miracle, I managed to drag my heavy, groggy ass out of bed and make it into the bathroom. As I went about my morning routine of teeth brushing, face washing, and hair/makeup, I started thinking about the day ahead of me…and going to the gym for that orientation after the girls’ get picked up. Suddenly, I started to feel panicky again. I started thinking about the little details – the drive, for one, is a panic-inducing aspect. It’s snowing – again – today, and finding parking at the hour of night I’m going is absolutely ridiculous. Trust me when I say I hate driving in the snow, and I hate searching all over for a damn parking space, and I hate parking. Then I started thinking about when I actually get into the gym, with Nolan. Panicked thoughts raced about my head a mile a minute.

Should I wear my workout clothes there, to elevate “change time”? I don’t even have proper workout clothes! I have black, crappy sweat pants that are literally flood pants and Matt’s t-shirts to pick from. I’m totally going to look like scrubby bum! Where am I even going to put my crap? I know they have lockers, but what if someone steals my keys, or phone, or something? Then what would I do!?

I actually had to grasp onto the bathroom sink to steady myself, as I was dizzy. I texted Matt with my locker dilemma and he said he leaves his stuff in the locker all the time without a lock. But I know he wears his shorts, and I know there are pockets in his shorts for the really important things like his wallet and his keys and his cell phone. I don’t have pockets in my crappy, flood pant sweats.

But, this is what I do. I freak out over tiny, insignificant details because at the time of {like, right now}, they really don’t feel insignificant. They feel like giant mountains that I can’t get past, even if you see them as ant hills, I am thinking: if someone steals my keys, how will Nolan and I get home? If someone steals my wallet, well then I’m super screwed because it holds all the important documents like my license and our health cards. If someone steals my phone then I’ll be screwed because I’ll have to either cancel my plan {which is expensive} or buy a new phone {which is expensive}. Both things are {expensive} not in our budget.

It’s bad enough that I’m already panicking about going because I have nobody to go with, but damnit self, can’t you give me us a break?!

Somehow, I need to overcome this. The only way I can think of overcoming it is by going tonight with no if’s and’s or but’s. My gym bag is already packed {although I don’t have a water bottle, I need to invest in one of those}, and I’ve at least solved the whole wallet-dilemma: I’m going to lock it in my glove box compartment in my car. Obviously, I can’t lock my keys in there and I really shouldn’t lock my cell phone because it would totally freeze, but at least I don’t have to worry about super important documents going missing from my wallet {because I really don’t have any money in there for anybody to steal. No credit cards, either!}

I was super pumped for Matt to download a bunch of new music so I could make a “workout playlist”, but he totally forgot and I can’t find my iPod anywhere 😦 I don’t think I’ll need it tonight, thankfully, because it’s an orientation so I’m sure I’ll need to pay attention.

But, anyway. Yeah, I’m going tonight, but I’m totally freakin’ the hell out over everything and anything. This would be so much easier if I had a work out buddy!!!

THIS JUST IN: I texted my friend Sammi, who I know has a gym membership because she tried to get me on board a million years ago, and…she’ll be there tonight as moral support! I know she’s already been through all the orientations, but she’ll go with me to elevate some of the stress I feel over the whole “new social interaction” thing! This makes everything so much easier, although I’m probably going to text her a thousand questions {like what I should wear, for one. Maybe I’ll wear leggings and a long sweater? Or is that too “dressy” for the gym!? I’m just not looking forward to wearing flood pants.} Now I’m excited, because Sammi is awesome and I’m less nervous about going 😀

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Damn Guilt

This year, in 2011, I am determined to change for the better. I am determined to stick to my resolutions and improve my follow through.

Last week, I signed up for a gym membership. Over the weekend, I questioned the sanity of that decision, and then decided to cancel my membership. I figured it would be no big deal – since I haven’t yet gone to the gym aside from signing up.

I had an appointment tonight with the friendly gentleman who signed me up to see if I could get out of it. I explained my concerns, my fear that we were biting off more than we could chew. I explained that the day care cost would just be too high, and if I waited for whenever Matt was home to watch Nolan, I’d barely make it to the gym at all. So, buddy hooked me up with an even better deal – free day care every time I go.

Um, hello! That’s pretty damn awesome! The guilt in my stomach over getting a gym membership subsided instantly. That would save us tons of money, and open up a lot of time for me to go.

It’s also given me tons of motivation, because in order to keep this deal I signed a promise that I would be at the gym at least three times a week. And now that the day care is free, I have no worries! My gym days will be Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I only have the girls for a couple hours Monday night and Friday morning, leaving tons of hours left in the day to hit up the gym, and Wednesdays are my days off so I’m free basically all day anyway.

So, I went in with the intent of getting out of my membership and walked out with free day care and renewed motivation. I can do this, especially with the cost of day care no longer a stress.

I know that my chronic pain disorder was also a worry {and a reason for the cancellation} but when I talked to the guy he explained that I would not be doing heavy work outs at all. My goals are to just get in better shape and slowly build muscle. He explained that they help you learn how to start out slow by giving orientations.

Which I would have known, had I made it to any of the orientations I was supposed to go to 😉

So here are my orientations:

  • Thursday, January 27th – Cardio Orientation
  • Tuesday, February 1st – Fit Fix Orientation
  • Wednesday, February 2nd – Free Weight Orientation

As you can see {read?}, my first orientation is tomorrow, at 5:30. I’m going to head out basically as soon as the girls’ father picks them up {around 4-4:30ish}. I want to get a parking spot SOMEWHAT close to the gym, and I want to get Nolan settled and myself changed and “warmed up” for the Cardio Orientation. I’m completely nervous as hell…but I suppose everyone is when they start something new…right?!

I’m also waiting for a call from one of the personal trainers {I guess? I don’t know what they’re called} about my Personal Health Profile. In addition to those orientations and appointments, I’m going to force myself to go work out this Friday, and on Monday and Friday of next week – even if I just go and walk/run on the treadmill or whatever, I need to do it. I am determined to go every single Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I have to get into the swing of it now, especially if I want to keep the whole free day care deal 😉

And I know I tweeted about my anxiety level being sky high while in the gym. It was. It was also sky high while I desperately searched for a parking spot in the dark in the middle of a snow storm. But guess what? 2011 is supposed to be about breaking out of my shell, getting over myself {and my fears}, and trying new things. AND improving my follow through.

It’s not going to be easy, hell it’s going to be a challenge in a half for the first few weeks. I’m going to be sore and tired as all hell…but I’m going to feel better in the long run. And if I don’t, at least I’ll know that I did follow through and give it a fair shot. I can’t quit before I even begin.

So, I’m gonna do this. I just need someone to kick my ass DAILY and motivate the hell out of me. I need someone who won’t let me be lazy and make excuses. Who’s in?!?

I also need a personal assistant to remind me of these orientations and appointments…

And a damn gym buddy, so I’m not as scared/nervous/anxious about going.

P.S. I have another post up over at The Wifey Blogs called Six Months. It’s about my thoughts/views on everything six months in to this whole marriage gig. So please go check it out after you’re done here!  Thank you 🙂

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Cutest Little Cowboy in the West…I mean North

My awesome friend Caitlin and her husband send us a package today, full of goodies for Nolan and I. I’ve only pulled out a few things from the {giant} box, because I got side tracked by these bad boys!

Aren’t they totally rad? Nolan now has his own pair of cowboy boots! He absolutely loves them and has been dancing around in them for the last 20 minutes.

Howdy Partner! I’m just walking around in my super rad boots!

Need help moving this box, ma’am? I’m a cowboy, you know.

Rootin’ tootin’ cowboy boots!

Care to join me square dancin’ ma’am?

These are so fun!

Little cowboy heartbreaker {those jeans SLAY me! so cute! Also from Caitlin!}

Pleasure dancin’ with ya ma’am!

So, yes…cute overload, am I right?! I absolutely love those jeans on him. They’re from The Children’s Place and I absolutely love the quality. Much better than Nolan’s Walmart jeans…they are thicker and more durable. Plus, the belt loops are large enough for the belt he got for Christmas, should he need it {but he doesn’t because they fit perfectly}.

All he needs now is a little cowboy hat {which we’re keeping our eyes peeled for!}. Matt has decided that we are totally buying Nolan a Woody action figure this weekend, just because we both think he’d love it {since he loves Toy Story and talking to Woody on his Toy Story couch}.

These boots bring back a lot of funny memories for Matt. When he was a little kid, he had a pair of cowboy boots much like these ones {only his were powder blue, if I remember correctly from the pictures Kim – his mom – has} and he was completely obsessed with them. He wore them every where, even when they were much to small for his feet, and wouldn’t accept any “new” cowboy boots as a replacement for the outgrown ones.

I wish I had a picture of little boy Matt wearing his blue cowboy boots, because that’d just be adorable!

So thank you, yet again Caitlin, Matt and your sweet baby boy who has outgrown these awesome boots and clothes!

Note to my readers: See, my apartment isn’t ALWAYS obsessively clean. During the day when Nolan is up and playing, it’s a freakin’ disaster. Especially if Matt was the one playing with him while I slept in. Matt and Nolan = messes of gigantic proportions.

P.S. Today Caitlin’s husband Matt leaves for his deployment, and will be gone for a year. I don’t know how they both do it, but I’m entirely grateful for the sacrifices that Caitlin and her family make. It can’t be easy, in fact I can only imagine how difficult it is. So if you could send some prayers, positive vibes and good juju towards Matt and his fellow soldiers, and strength towards Caitlin {although she has bucket loads of her own}, that’d be greatly appreciated.

And Caitlin, I’m here for ya girly. When you need someone to chat with, or rant with, you know where to find me.

xoxo

Jess

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Love {in Black and White}

I love it when I get a lot accomplished around the house yet still feel like I’ve given Nolan tons of interaction. I love sitting down during naptime {in my clean livingroom}, playing around online and not feeling guilty because there’s no pressing matters on my to-do list.

I also love the pictures I took of Nolan this morning, eating an apple. It was his first time eating an apple like a “big kid”. Usually, I cut up the pieces for him. But today, he was in a rather bitey mood {ugh; I have a fat lip FYI} so I decided he should take those biting urges out on an apple.

[love his eyes in this one!]


Guess what? It totally worked. He destroyed that apple and didn’t bite me {or even attempt to} for the rest of the morning {and I hope he’ll continue to not bite me during the afternoon}. Plus it was a totally healthy snack 😉 an apple a day keeps the doctor away! {just like a post a day keeps the men in white coats away – for this mama, anyway 😉 hehe}.

So; our morning was great. We snuggled on the couch, read some books, played with some puzzles and just relaxed. Then I spent about 45 minutes cleaning the house and folding laundry – with Nolan’s help, of course.

helping mama fold laundry! {he did the top few}

He’s such a bright little child! During lunch time, we practiced counting the noodles on the tray. He got up to four!  Well sorta, it sounded more like “Un! Uoo! Fee! ORE” but still awesome, right?! He loves counting. Matt bought him a counting book yesterday, and I think I’ve read it about six times. I need to invest in some flash cards for him because he’d totally love them. I tried to find them at a local toy store yesterday to no avail. Sigh. I’ll probably stumbling across them when he’s 13 and in college and we’ll no longer need them.

And in other news, you’ll notice a little section on my blog sidebar that says “my tumblr” with a little button-link thing. I’ve created a tumblr blog for my overwhelming amount of Nolan pictures because WordPress is now telling me I have used up 76.1% of my storage for pictures. I know that I still have quite a bit of storage left, but I still felt that I needed another space for all my pictures! I’m worried I’ll totally use up all the remaining space here in no-time, and I’m definitely not going to buy a space upgrade – holy not in the budget or even practical. I’m saving to switch to an actual host, so I can get unlimited uploads again like I had at Sarcastica.

So head over and check it out! I’m still new at using Tumblr…and boy is it a lot different from WordPress or even Blogger. It took me forever how to figure out how the whole commenting thing works {apparently you have to install Disqus, which I’ve done so you can now comment on my tumblr blog}. Still, it’s a great place for all the photos 🙂 and it’s so easy to post photos directly from my BlackBerry!

P.S. In other, random news…I fail at the whole gym thing. I missed another orientation. I honestly need to get a personal assistant to remind me of stuff, because even though I put it in my day planner and on my BlackBerry scheduler, I don’t check until it’s too late. Five minutes does not give you enough time to get you and your toddler dressed and everything packed up and find parking and and and. So yeah, I suck at this whole gym thing.

And…I just might be giving up before I even start. I know! I’m horrible, aren’t I? I have an appointment on Wednesday to possibly get out of my membership. I know that I doing really have the time and dedication to get my moneys worth out of that membership. Sure, the classes look fun but at the rate I’m going with remembering shit I’m probably better off buying a couple of work out DVDs and doing it during Nolan’s naptime. Plus I have no one to go with and the idea of going by myself is so unappealing. If they do let me get out of it {fingers crossed} without paying the fee {which is only $99 – not bad at all!} I’ll totally buy some work out videos. If I have to pay the $99, I’ll wait on the work out videos.

Sometimes, my foolishness amazes me. I’m constantly doing crap like that: jumping aboard of a fleeting moment of I want to work out! I’m better off starting out doing physio exercises.

It’s not like I need to lose a lot of weight. I’d be fine if I cut all the crap out of my diet and did a couple work out videos a few times a week, and if I started walking more.

Somebody smack me for thinking that spending any amount {no matter how “good” a deal it is} on a gym membership is a good idea for me.

Sigh. Yes, I is an idiot?

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