Category Archives: plans & such

An Announcement

I was going to keep this a secret for a while, but I’m terribly bad at secrets. It’s a proven fact. Especially about “exciting” things, I just can’t keep my flap closed. And since Matt is also having a horrible time keeping this secret, I figured…why not?

That’s right folks, two lines…we’re pregnant! Apparently, I’m Fertile Myrtle.

We decided in December that we were ready to add to our little family, so I finished up my BC cycle and went off it in January. Then we started “trying”. By “trying”, I of course mean we just did it a bunch of times, as per usual, and WHAMBAM. Pregnancy? Matt is going to buy me a Staples “that was easy” button and duct tape it to my belly, because…well, that was easy?

We found out February 5th, 2011. I went to a walk in clinic on Wednesday night and they confirmed it. I’m just two days shy of five weeks, and my estimated due date is October 16th, 2011. I am absolutely excited about having an October baby, and…dare I say it…but I’m hoping the baby will be born on October 21st, my dad’s birthday! I doubt that the doctors would let me go five days past my due date, but it’d be sweet to give him a birthday grandbaby!

I know that most women don’t breathe a word of their pregnancy until they are passed the 12th week point. The doctor at the walk in clinic was kind enough to remind me {every time he opened his mouth} that there is a 1 in 5 chance for miscarriage, and he was kind enough to tell me not to “tell everybody just yet”. Nice huh? Definitely doesn’t help calm my nerves at all about this whole pregnancy thing.  But the way I see it…either way, I’m going to blog about the results. I’m over the fear that telling people will “jinx” my pregnancy – I’m not even high risk for a miscarriage! Stressing about that isn’t good anyway. Besides, I spilled the beans about my pregnancy with Nolan just a mere days after finding out, and I was around 5 weeks then too.

We’ve alerted the troops {family} and some close friends, and now I’m alerting all of you. Deep breath.

I was going to wait until I was a little further along…but frankly? Keeping this a “secret” is pretty damn tiring. It’s happy news, so why not share it?! Not to mention, I’ve already “popped” a bit, and it’s already a little noticeable…

I didn’t look like that until about 20 weeks with Nolan! Crazy huh? I know, with your second you pop quickly so I’m trying not to get too offended by the fact that I can barely see my box when I sit down to pee and I’m only four {nearly five} weeks.

I’m super excited! This is our first “planned” pregnancy, but I feel as clueless as I did with Nolan! Seriously, it’s shocking just how much you forget about being pregnant until you’re pregnant again. I didn’t expect to be so exhausted {hence my lazy last couple of weeks}. I didn’t expect the dreams to start so early, either. I’m eating enough to feed a small village too. Thank goodness the nausea hasn’t set in! Although the smell {and look!} of fish is more than enough to turn my belly completely inside out. Of course, the look and smell of fish has always turned my stomach! Gross!!!

I’m also super impatient. How in the hell was I pregnant before? I’m impatient for my first ultrasound, to hear little bean’s heart beat, and to find out what sex little bean is. Boy or girl, it will most definitely be loved! Although I do have a secret desire for a girl, only because Matt says this is our LAST baby and I would like to have a daughter too. Boys are amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I’m hoping for that little girl – the outfits, the girly things, watching her be daddy’s little girl…so sweet! Plus it’s due time someone on Matt’s side had a girl!!! But if little bean happens to be a boy, then so be it! I’ll be just as happy with two little boys as I would be with a girl and a boy.

So, there you have it! There’s my big secret 😀 our big secret! Nolan’s known for quite some time. He keeps rubbing/tapping my belly and saying “baybeee!” So cute!

I have a feeling the next 9 months are going to fly by.

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Can it be Summer now?!

I am restless in this town. Happy, but restless. Perhaps it’s all this damn snow that’s making me feel restless…but, either way…I’m restless. I long for spring – for summer, because the roads will be clear and {slightly} more predictable, which means I’ll be able to make more trips to the places I want to go. I have a list that is literally a mile long of all the little places I want to take Nolan too.

I obviously want to go “down south” and visit my family and Matt family. I miss them all so much. I want to cuddle with my nephew. I miss that kid so much, and it really sucks that we’re so far away from him. I’d love to just drive five minutes for a play date with my sister, I love watching Xman and Nolan play together.

I want to take Nolan to the Toronto Zoo, the Science Center and Ontario Place. I want to take him to that new rec center in my old town that is apparently mint.

I want to spend some quality time with my grandparents, maybe at their trailer. I want to visit with my cousins, actually visit and spend some time with them {since the last time we got together ~ Christmas ~ I was super sick}.

I want to finally meet my little man D and see JD for the first time in like forever. Nine months? It’s ridiculous. I want to catch up with all the other old friends I haven’t seen in forever. I want to visit Elle and hit up museums and indoor play areas and parks and all that jazz.

I want to go on family day trips and to the beach and camping at Matt’s property. I want to be able to take Nolan outside to play for longer than 10 minutes. I want to go on walks down the trail, and teach Nolan how to toss rocks in the creek {with me there, of course}.

I want to be warm.

What are you looking forward to doing as soon as the snow melts?

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The Orientation

So tonight, as I fretted earlier, I had my first orientation at the gym. It was all about learning how to use the cardio machines. Matt ended up staying home with Nolan, but I still left early so I could get a parking spot without any trouble. I arrived at the gym at 5pm – half an hour before the orientation. I went in and nervously waited about. It was nerve-wracking, I felt like everybody was staring at me {they weren’t}. I felt like I was “dressed wrong” {I was wearing my gray leggings, a blue thank top and a black shirt overtop with my dark gray hoodie}. I just felt…self conscious. Big surprise, right? So…I ended up hiding out in the change room, desperately texting my friend Sammi to see when she’d get there.

Only she told me her class was running late.

Insert panic attack.

I steadied myself out by taking a few deep breaths and saying I can do this over and over again. A couple of messages exchanged with Caitlin helped out too, as well as tweeting my anxiety away haha.

So, I stayed, and I went to the orientation and I learned how to use the machines. I even burned a whole 11 calories! WEEE!

I wanted to stay out and workout for a bit, but once I went to my locker {with the spiffy key lock Matt bought me guarding my valuables! I love that very thoughtful man} to text Sammi and see if she was coming or not, all the machines I wanted to use were already in use. After 5pm is the busy time of the night – everyone’s getting off work or out of school.

But the important thing is I went tonight. I was scared shitless, but I did it.

I’m going tomorrow too! I made a commitment to myself {and the gym} that I would go every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for sure. So after T gets picked up {around 10:30}, I will be going to the gym to get my workout on. I still don’t know if I’m bringing Nolan – normally on Friday’s I would because Matt is usually in school, but tomorrow he doesn’t have his classes because his teacher will be out-of-town. But Matt is going ice fishing with his friends, and he’s not sure if they’re leaving before noon or after. So we’ll see!

I’m also going to the gym on Saturday morning for another orientation – this one is for stretching! I’m pretty excited to learn how to stretch {properly}.

SWING!

When I came home tonight, I was so exhausted and I didn’t even do a proper workout! Matt and I got our little man into bed, then we both decided a nap was in serious order before Jersey Shore. I was so exhausted, it was pretty ridiculous. Then and again, I’ve had several late nights this week…staying up late, watching crappy TV with Matt or just reading blogs. I’ve got to put a stop to that!! I need to make sure my ass is in bed at 9pm on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. YES I AM TOTALLY BASING MY EARLY BEDTIMES ON THE TV SCHEDULE, SO SUE ME. I love watching Teen Mom 2 {Tuesday nights}, Greys Anatomy and Jersey Shore {Thursdays}. I think Much Music will start playing Vampire Diaries on Friday nights at 9…hopefully…so that I can still get to bed for 10 haha.

I know it’s pretty bad to plan your sleeping around the TV, but those are our “date shows”. Matt and I snuggle on the couch and enjoy a couple of hours of mindless reality or complex medical drama. 🙂

In addition to going to the gym today {!!!! so proud of myself haha}, I also recorded everything I ate on a piece of paper. I need to start an actual food journal, but for now this works. I had four monster sized glasses of water today, people! And I had a small snack or meal every 2 hours. I’m still not sure how to actually keep a food journal, but here’s what I have written down on my “food paper”:

7:30am – small glass of orange juice
8:30am – tea
9:00am – 1 piece of toast with peanut butter
9:20am – tall glass of water
9:30am – {another} tall glass of water
10:12am – a banana 🙂
10:30am – tall glass of water
11:30am – small bowl of alphagettis and a piece of bread with butter {bad, I know}
1:3opm – two granola bars
4:30pm – tall glass of water
4:40pm – homemade mac & cheese
9:00pm – handful of chips
9:20pm – milkshake with vanilla ice cream, vanilla yogurt, fruit and a spoonful of hot chocolate mix 😉

So yay! I sort of got a little naughty when I got home from the gym, I know. I should have eaten something right away but I was so exhausted I just crashed and when I woke up I was way too lazy to make anything so I grabbed the nearest thing to me – chips.

I’m still waiting to hear back from the trainer about my Personal Health Profile. Once they give me a better idea of what I should be eating for my weight loss/workout goals, I’ll be able to make a meal plan up that I can {hopefully} stick to. I’m going to cut the pasta down a bit in my diet. Usually, we eat pasta like 4 times a week {I know, I know}. I’m going to cut that number down too…one time a week. And that’s totally going to kill me, because I love pasta, but I’ll take it because I don’t want to have pasta completely gone from my life at this point 😦 haha.

Matt’s workout goals are totally opposite to mine. I want to lose some weight and tone up, and he wants to bulk up so his diet needs to have more carbs. Nolan also needs to put some weight on, so he’ll be sticking to a high-in-carbs diet too. Which means I’m going to have to eat more salads and fruits, and grilled chicken, while my boys get to have more fun. Lord help me! I am so bad at giving in to things.

But honestly? I am totally excited about this new chapter. I’m totally exhausted, yes, but I’m hoping it will be worth it and I’m hoping my body will adjust and I’ll have more energy to do things that I love.

I just wanted to say thanks for all the words of encouragement thus far! I don’t have a workout buddy yet {because I’m not sure about Sammi’s schedule vs mine}, but at least I have the Interwebz to keep me motivated 😉

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What have I gotten myself into now?!

Remember how I mentioned that I was thinking about getting a gym membership? Well, tonight I had a meeting with some dude named Derrek from Goodlife, to discuss the membership my husband forced upon me I was thinking about getting.

Seeing the workout equipment was very overwhelming, and the idea of working out with tons of people that I don’t really know isn’t exactly appealing. But, if I carry on the way I have been carrying on, I’ll end up as a fat tub of lard permanently stuck on my couch. Not cool, not cool at all.

Nolan is becoming more and more mobile {now isn’t that an understatement?}, and I honestly feel like my energy level could use some serious improvement, like 100%. Going outside for 20 minutes to play in the snow exhausts me, and it really shouldn’t. I know winter is hard on everyone, but by the time spring and summer are here I want to be able to chase him around outside, go for long walks, and just do stuff with him without feeling so damn exhausted afterwards.

So, I’ve signed up for the gym. I’m going to go three times a week to work out for at least half an hour each time. I am going to attend Bodyflow classes {yoga, tai chi, pilates} every Wednesday night and RPM classes every Saturday morning. I’m nervous about attending classes with a bunch of people I don’t know, but 2011 is all about going outside my comfort zone and experiencing things. I don’t want to hold back on doing things that I might love just because “I won’t know anybody”. For a few days during the week, I’ll be able to get out and do something for me, and have my entire family benefit {because I’ll have more energy}.

I will attend my first work out this Saturday morning. Matt is going with me, so that I’m not as uncomfortable.

AND; because I referred 10 people {who will probably be irritated with me for giving Goodlife their numbers}, I got a free gym bag and a workout shirt! WEEE! I win?

I’m excited about this. Just think of all the funny material I’ll have, what with me being a natural klutz 😉

I’m also excited about this! That’s right, I am now officially a contributor at The Wifey Blogs as my post is up! The Wifey Blogs is a website written by a bunch of women about all things marriage, started up by my friend Brie. A funny take on the good, the bad, and even….the hanky panky. Please go read my first ever post there and give it some love! Also; check out the other wives; they’re really awesome! You might want to add that blog to your feed reader too 😉

Also: here is a ridiculously cute video of Nolan. Excuse my voice, it was before bacon o’clock.

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But there really IS a 6 pack under these rolls!

Matt has been tossing the “G” word around.

Gym.

He wants us to get a gym membership. Together. Not because he thinks I’m fat or anything, but because I’ve often expressed my frustration with my post-baby stomach.

Before pregnancy, I had what I like to fondly refer to as “effortless abs”. I didn’t do anything, and I had rock hard abs – despite the fact that I used to stuff my face full of McDonald’s and Dominos cheesy bread on the daily. Yes, hate pre-baby me, I sure as shit do now. Then I got pregnant, and WHAM. Now I have a flabby post-baby belly that I am too lazy to do anything about – other than bitch.

My stomach today.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. I have cut a lot of crap out of my diet, and I’m drinking way more water. But I’m not exercising. Winter is making it pretty damn hard to leave my couch. I do get out 4 times a week for sure – when I take J down to her bus stop with T and usually Nolan {except for Tuesdays, when Matt is home in the morning, then Nolan gets to miss out on the walk and sleep in. Lucky kid}.

I think part of my issue is that I don’t know how to exercise. Seriously, I’ve never exercised a day in my life and unfortunately, that is not an exaggeration.

So anyway, back to Matt. He brought home some pamphlets from a gym in town and I was reading up on the classes. I’ve gotta say…I’m deeply interested in taking some classes. I think it would be totally awesome to take a yoga, tai chi, or Pilates class or two. Of course, my social anxiety is a barrier right now. The idea of going to work out classes which a bunch of different people is totally scaring the crap out of me.

But I was all ya! Self improvement FTW! a couple of months ago, so I really don’t want that to be my excuse.

Money could be a factor, but Matt is animate that you can’t pay too much for good health. He also added that they have a dietitian that helps you work out a meal plan to get on the right track with eating healthy – I could totally use that, because I am clueless when it comes to “healthy eating” and everything I cook contains a lot of carbs and other not-so-fantastic stuff.

So…I’m on the fence about this. Especially since I totally want to hoard every last penny we have after bills for my ridiculous Ikea shopping trip in April.

But…I would honestly love to have more energy, and it’s a proven fact that working out and exercising gives you more energy. Maybe not at first, maybe not right away but it eventually does. I love the idea of attending a couple of classes each week to help with my stress levels {I hear yoga is great for that}, and I’d totally love a rockin’ bod for this summer. Toned ass, stomach, and thighs?! YES PLEASE! I’d be hitting up the beach daily, regardless of my scars because people would be all like “look at how toned she is! Her body rocks!”

Erm. So, yes. I’m on the fence about it.

But I think we’re going to do it; since Matt is totally for it. Hold me while I shiver in a corner and cry with fear.

P.S. Here are some cute photos of Nolan from today, because I know that’s what y’all keep coming back for. 😉

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Dreaming of the day…

…that we can buy these lovely things for our home:


Ikea Stornas/Kaustby table & chairs

Ikea Malm 6-drawer Chest {for Nolan’s bedroom}

Ikea Sugar Bowl & Cream Pitcher

Basically, we’re saving like mad for the next 2 months and then we’re going to get all the things on our Ikea wishlist {including the Hemnes dresser and night stand I’ve been eying forever, some toddler dishes, flatware and “training cups”, and finally…those wickedly awesome “smock” bibs that Nolan currently has. He’s growing out of the ones he has fast}.

It’s going to be a super big purchase that will probably cause me a lot of physical and emotional torment, but…we do need {most} of the stuff on our list. Our current table is falling apart, and the chairs belong to Matt’s dad. He’s going to want them back this spring because he’s building a cottage and he wants his chairs there. I really wanted to get a table that we both liked a lot, and that fit us. Then I stumbled across THIS one. I know I said I was going to make a table, but I think I’m going to reserve that for when we have our own house with a huge kitchen. Then I can build a super long table 🙂

And I’ve been holding off, waiting patiently to get my dresser and night table {that matches Matt’s dresser and our bed}. Nolan needs a bigger, more kid/teen like dresser {since his drawers in his current baby dresser are overflowing}. The sugar bowl and cream pitcher are just tossed in there because…why not? I don’t like our current ones, and if we are making a trip to Ikea we might as well make it worth the while.

Basically, this is our birthday presents and Christmas presents to each other for the next bazillion years.

🙂 I can’t wait for April!

{well, I can…because then I’ll have a two-year old but I’m not ready to face that yet, thank you very much}.

Speaking of toddlers and stuff…at the beginning of February we’ve decided to purchase Nolan a toddler bed and “re-do” his bedroom. Don’t worry, we’re not going to break the bank on that one until he’s like 5. I’ve picked out a Disney Cars bedding set that is pretty cute, and more importantly…I know Nolan will adore it. I’m going to save all of the Zanzibar nursery theme…but I don’t want to buy the kids bedding because it’s pretty damn hard to find. Nor do I want to invest in the Robo Bedding from The Land of Nod just yet. After all, it’s for a twin sized bed and Nolan will just be going into a toddler bed. I also want to wait until he’s older so he can have some say in what we pick for his bedroom. For all I know, he might hate the Robo Bedding set and want trains, or cars or footballs.

So, for now…the Cars bed-in-a-bag at Sears will do just fine 🙂

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On Planning

I’ve been longing for home, for the town we used to live in before our great move up North. I didn’t grow up in that town, but I went there often as a young teen because that town had the closest movie theater. My dad and two of my sisters’ live in that town, so does Matt’s mom, step dad and his youngest brother.

That town is closer to basically all my friends.

So, that town has tons of appeal to me.

But…to give this Northern town some credit…I do love it here too. I love our charming little apartment, I love that we’re a stones throw away from the mall, the grocery store, and a Zellers that will one day be a TARGET! Matt has family here, and I do love hanging out with his brother and sister-in-law. Matt also has tons of friends, since he did live here for all of his high school days. I’ve made several friends too.

Matt and I talk regularly about what we’re going to do come this August, when he graduates from his program. After spending Christmas down South, we decided that we wanted to move back for a while, until we figure out where we want to be permanently. He knows that I want to be closer to my dad and my sisters, and he does have friends in that town too.

However…Matt already has a job in a welding shop, and he’s been offered a permanent full-time position when he graduates this August. He’ll make a pretty penny, too, with the raise his boss offered him {upon completion of his program}. So our plans to move back to Southern Ontario have quite possibly been put on hold. This job will be great, especially to have until Matt can get into a union down in Southern Ontario {which is what he wants}.

It just sucks, because I miss my family and friends from back home so much. And I know that everybody, including my dad, is eager for us to go back. And we thought we were, but now…we’re not so sure.

Northern Ontario is being super good to us, and it just sucks that Southern Ontario can’t be that great. Matt will have tons of experience, which will probably make it easier for him to apply and get into unions in Southern Ontario…but who knows how long it will take him to actually get into a union?

So, as it stands right now…our plan is to stay in this town until Matt can get on with a union down South.

This whole topic reminds me of a conversation that Matt and I had last night. Apparently, I drive him a little crazy sometime with my need to plan out every single move for the next 5 years. I can’t help it though, I spent so much of my life not knowing what the plan was going to be or how it was all going to work out that I just can’t not plan things. I have to know. Even if he isn’t graduating until August, I need to know what our next move is.

I’m insane like that. Am I alone? Or do you have to plan out every detail too? I’d love to hear some “no Jess, you’re totally not alone – we do that too!” comments because Matt thinks I’m totally obsessive about planning.

And, maybe I am. I do have to have things a certain way, and if things don’t go the way I plan I sort of sulk and stomp my feet about it. Unless they happen to go way better than I planned, then I’m okay with it. But if it’s worse than what I expected? OH BOY.

So, anyway, I am happy that Matt already has a job offer {and a job} in his field. I am excited for August to come {and go} so he can be done with school and we can finally start living again. Not that we haven’t been living right now, but…you know what I mean! I am still longing for home, to be close to my siblings, but in the very least we will be able to make way more trips down south to visit everyone. Still, it’s a temporary solution for the longing I’ve been feeling; the longing to be 5 minutes away from my sisters and dad, and friends of course.

Nobody told me making decisions like this would be so damn difficult. There are ties here, and there are ties there. We want to be in both places, surrounded by ALL our family and friends, but that’s just not possible.

I guess we’ll just see how everything pans out.

{I’m twitching, right now…just so you know. I hate “waiting to see” how things are going to go. I need to KNOW damnit!}

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