Category Archives: the miracle

An Announcement

I was going to keep this a secret for a while, but I’m terribly bad at secrets. It’s a proven fact. Especially about “exciting” things, I just can’t keep my flap closed. And since Matt is also having a horrible time keeping this secret, I figured…why not?

That’s right folks, two lines…we’re pregnant! Apparently, I’m Fertile Myrtle.

We decided in December that we were ready to add to our little family, so I finished up my BC cycle and went off it in January. Then we started “trying”. By “trying”, I of course mean we just did it a bunch of times, as per usual, and WHAMBAM. Pregnancy? Matt is going to buy me a Staples “that was easy” button and duct tape it to my belly, because…well, that was easy?

We found out February 5th, 2011. I went to a walk in clinic on Wednesday night and they confirmed it. I’m just two days shy of five weeks, and my estimated due date is October 16th, 2011. I am absolutely excited about having an October baby, and…dare I say it…but I’m hoping the baby will be born on October 21st, my dad’s birthday! I doubt that the doctors would let me go five days past my due date, but it’d be sweet to give him a birthday grandbaby!

I know that most women don’t breathe a word of their pregnancy until they are passed the 12th week point. The doctor at the walk in clinic was kind enough to remind me {every time he opened his mouth} that there is a 1 in 5 chance for miscarriage, and he was kind enough to tell me not to “tell everybody just yet”. Nice huh? Definitely doesn’t help calm my nerves at all about this whole pregnancy thing.  But the way I see it…either way, I’m going to blog about the results. I’m over the fear that telling people will “jinx” my pregnancy – I’m not even high risk for a miscarriage! Stressing about that isn’t good anyway. Besides, I spilled the beans about my pregnancy with Nolan just a mere days after finding out, and I was around 5 weeks then too.

We’ve alerted the troops {family} and some close friends, and now I’m alerting all of you. Deep breath.

I was going to wait until I was a little further along…but frankly? Keeping this a “secret” is pretty damn tiring. It’s happy news, so why not share it?! Not to mention, I’ve already “popped” a bit, and it’s already a little noticeable…

I didn’t look like that until about 20 weeks with Nolan! Crazy huh? I know, with your second you pop quickly so I’m trying not to get too offended by the fact that I can barely see my box when I sit down to pee and I’m only four {nearly five} weeks.

I’m super excited! This is our first “planned” pregnancy, but I feel as clueless as I did with Nolan! Seriously, it’s shocking just how much you forget about being pregnant until you’re pregnant again. I didn’t expect to be so exhausted {hence my lazy last couple of weeks}. I didn’t expect the dreams to start so early, either. I’m eating enough to feed a small village too. Thank goodness the nausea hasn’t set in! Although the smell {and look!} of fish is more than enough to turn my belly completely inside out. Of course, the look and smell of fish has always turned my stomach! Gross!!!

I’m also super impatient. How in the hell was I pregnant before? I’m impatient for my first ultrasound, to hear little bean’s heart beat, and to find out what sex little bean is. Boy or girl, it will most definitely be loved! Although I do have a secret desire for a girl, only because Matt says this is our LAST baby and I would like to have a daughter too. Boys are amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I’m hoping for that little girl – the outfits, the girly things, watching her be daddy’s little girl…so sweet! Plus it’s due time someone on Matt’s side had a girl!!! But if little bean happens to be a boy, then so be it! I’ll be just as happy with two little boys as I would be with a girl and a boy.

So, there you have it! There’s my big secret 😀 our big secret! Nolan’s known for quite some time. He keeps rubbing/tapping my belly and saying “baybeee!” So cute!

I have a feeling the next 9 months are going to fly by.



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Please Mom?!

All day long, Nolan has been hinting to go outside.

As if climbing his chair to stare out the window and say “SNOW!” over and over again wasn’t hint enough, he also brought his boots and my boots over to me several times. But with wind gusts up to 61 km/hr, and it being -14 degrees C and with Nolan still sick with a head cold…I just wasn’t sold on the idea.

But, the little bugger was persistent, and finally started putting on his boots by himself, and point at his coat with a pitiful “please mom?!” look. So, I agreed to brave the cold white stuff with him so he could have some fun. I knew it wouldn’t last long – Nolan forgets how cold the stuff is, and how much he hates cold. But we dressed warmly and headed out for our snow adventure.

With snow so deep, there wasn’t much for us to do. The neighbor had cleared a path along the side of the house into the backyard, so we mostly stuck to that. Nolan had a blast hitting the snow, until his mitten fell off and he got cold snow all down his sleeve.

Keep in mind, this is the same kid who will get food on his fingers and hold his hand out in disgust, whining until I clean them. Yup, just like his mama that boy!

Nolan did love getting tossed in the huge snow bank though! He laughed like it was the funnest thing ever – and I guess it would be. It’s been a while since I was tossed in a snow bank hehe. It wasn’t the “right” kind of snow for most of the stuff I wanted to do (like build a SNOW MAN!). It was too powdery and fine for snow man (or snow fort) building.

And we didn’t go sledding, because we don’t have a sled…yet anyway! We’ll see what Santa (or Auntie!) gets him this Christmas 😉

We only lasted for about 30 minutes, but we had fun the entire time we were out there! Then the winds started to take Nolan’s breath away (you know how kids do that gasping for air thing when the wind is blowing in their faces?), so we came back inside. Now Nolan is zoned out watching Yo Gaba Gaba, and I’m again wondering why is DJ Lance so incredibly awesome?

Only crediable answer, from @SarcasticMomLC:

“I’m almost certain he smells like tangerines and happiness.”

Happy Monday all! ❤


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Notes to Nolan: 19 Months

Dear Nolan,

You’ve raced so quickly away from babyhood and into toddlerhood that some days, I don’t even know what hit me. It seems like just yesterday you were rolling over for the first time, now you’re saying things like “Where is it?” and “What is that?” almost perfectly. You’re now partaking in imaginative play too. You are such a good little boy with a fiery personality – you know what you want and when you want it, and you fight for it. You also know when to back down though, which is really good and saves this Mama tons of headaches!

You love to gain a deeper understanding for the world around you, you are constantly asking your Daddy and I what everything is. You constantly try to figure out how everything works, too. I’m pretty sure that you’d be able to take apart anything electronic and put it back together better than before, if I were to let you try. But, on the offhand, if you ended up like me – thinking you’d be able to fix it and make it work better and only succeeding in breaking it – I can’t take that chance 😉

I love the way you smile, the way you giggle, and the way you give hugs. You are the best little hug giver in the world. I love the way you give kisses too. You are constantly trying to kiss the cat, but she doesn’t much like it and always runs away from your puckering lips. The look on your face every time she does it is priceless. You look at me with big “but why?!” eyes. Sorry little love, our cat is a little crazy!

Your vocabulary expands with each passing day, and I get the joy of hearing you say new words and understand them. The other day, we were reading Moo, Baa, La La La by Sandra Boynton and you actually made the animal noises with me! I’m not going to lie; you shocked my socks off! I definitely wasn’t expecting you to be able to tell me that a cow says moo so soon. I suppose I’m still picturing you as the bald little baby I rocked to sleep night after night. You’re bigger now, and you have a little more hair! Don’t worry though, if you’re anything like your Daddy (and you are, trust me) you’ll have thick locks by the time your 3 and every other month I’ll need to take you to get your hair cut. Unless I let you grow it long…hmm.

Last night, you and I were sitting at the table having our dinner – your favourite (and mine too!): spaghetti. You saw me slurp a noodle and instantly started to try to copy me. I showed you once more, and you got the hang of it. Now you are a pro noodle slurper!

I can’t believe how much you amaze me with each and every passing day. And you have such a sense of humor! You’re constantly trying to make your Daddy and I laugh, and you always succeed!

You love to eat bananas, grapes, and apples. You love Daddy’s pancakes and Mama’s scrambled eggs. You love playing outside, going for walks, and playing ball. You adore going to playgroup and are so good with the other kids. You know how to share and how to be gentle with younger babies. You are amazing with your little cousins.

I could write about all the amazing little things you do each day, and boast about all you know basically for the rest of eternity. You truly are the apple of our eyes, the best little thing to happen to your Daddy and I since sliced bread. We love you so much, words can’t even begin to describe the depths of that love. Everything we do is for you: we want you to have the best life, filled with such love and fun. We want you to know that you can always chase your dreams and reach for the moon: and that if you work hard enough, it’s totally possible to touch that moon.

Thank you for being ours, sweet boy.

Love you to the moon and back,



Filed under adventures, family, good times, growing up, letters, little moments, love love love, mama musings, Nolan, pictures, telling stories, thankful, the beautiful, the good, the miracle, the random, things I love, this crazy train, tidbits, updates, writing

The Most Baffling Thing…

I’ve been meaning to blog for the past 2 hours but I couldn’t think of anything to write about, until I saw a question on Emily’s blog from her post, Men Are From Mars.

What is the most baffling thing your husband does?

Thank you Emily! What a great way to help me overcome the bout of writer’s block I was suffering from! A blog post dedicated to the baffling things my husband does 🙂 this is good, because he does a lot of baffling things.

I would like to start off by saying that I love my husband – and his “quirks” – dearly. He is my other half, and I can’t imagine life without him.

But, home boy is strange. Like, he cannot wear socks that match. If I match his socks for him and put them away in his sock drawer, he will literally search for pairs that do not match because he doesn’t like wearing matching socks. He’s been known to wear one black sock and one white sock. He’s also been known to dress Nolan in the same manor. I’m all about the matching socks! I can’t stand it when I can’t find a pair that matches! But Matt has to have mix-matched socks.

And he has a horrible tendency of leaving nail clippings all over the place. On the end table, on the coffee table, on the couch – I find those suckers everywhere. In fact, I lifted up the carpet today and – low and behold – nail clippings.

He also pretty ridiculous when playing xBox online with his college buddies…the kind of things that come out of his mouth are just baffling:

“You’re adopted!”
“You touch dicks!”
“They are afraid of the wolf pack!”

…oh they’re endless. I can hear him from the bedroom and I die laughing, every single time.

He also is completely oblivious to clutter. He can clean – he’s great at scrubbing floors, cleaning dishes/counter tops, and tidying toys, but the man cannot see clutter at all. “It’s fine”, he tells me when I start to freak out about the clutter that tries to take over every inch of space on the bookshelf.

He’ll go out grocery shopping and spend nearly double what I do and somehow miss half the list.

But, when he does go out grocery shopping…he brings me home treats. A small box of Lindor chocolates, or Reeses Cups (don’t worry, not anymore since my diet!). The man baffles me in his ability to take my breath away too. He catches me off guard a lot, and I love it.

There are things about him that I will probably never really understand (like the whole sock thing), but I’m okay with that…it’s what makes him, HIM. I know that I am incrediably lucky, and I probably don’t tell him that as often as I should, so if you don’t mind, I’m going to go do just that 🙂


Filed under changes, drama drama drama, funny shit, I'm kinda a lunatic, issues, just thoughts, lessons, little moments, love love love, stuff that bites, stupid mistakes, telling stories, thankful, the boring, the good, the miracle, the random, this is love, this is my life


I am blessed with many things. A love that is strong and resilient, passionate and fulfilling, and a beautiful healthy baby boy who amazes me on the daily.

These things make every struggle worth while; worth fighting.


Filed under just thoughts, love love love, mama musings, Nolan, pictures, the good, the miracle, this is love, updates, what I'm feeling

this week {according to my blackberry}

N is many things, many wonderful things. He is willful and extraordinary, loving and independent, adventurous yet reserved. He always has a smile upon his beautiful face, a smile that lights up any room in an instance. He can make my incredibly crappy day instantly wonderful, simply by being him. He also has some, erm, not so desirable traits…which will totally come in handy down the road for him but sorta suck for me right now. Like his stubbornness, and his desire to constantly push the limits. The limits being the ‘rules’ I try to enforce on the daily {i.e not doing dangerous things like climbing {and dancing on} the coffee table, not playing with electronic things like Matt’s xBox or the TV, and so on and so forth}.

I am incredibly lucky to have such an amazing son. I know, we all say that about our own kids, and I suppose that’s good, right? In the book I am reading right now {Scar Tissue, Anthony Kiedis and Larry Sloman}, I read a passage that has sorta stuck with me as it makes such complete sense: on some level, spirits choose their parents, because these potential parents possess the certain traits and values that the soon-to-be child needs to assimilate during his or her lifetime {pg. 8}.

I feel like N was destined to be my child. From his willful, stubborn ways right down to his infectious grin and longing to make everyone as happy as he is {so long as he’s getting his way}. This child is such a part of my core being – of Matt’s core being too – that I can’t imagine our life without him in it. He completes it, he shapes it, he inspires it. He is my muse. My beautiful muse.

I can remember being pregnant with him in the fall of 2008, my first trimester. I can remember laying in bed late at night, unable to sleep, with my hand on my {still flat, at the time} belly trying my hardest to picture this child I was carrying. I knew I was pregnant, I had seen the positive results on the test and the little peanut sized being on the ultrasound screen, but it wasn’t real yet because I didn’t know anything about the wee one in my belly. I kept trying to imagine what he would look like and be like. And trying to imagine what traits he would possess was just downright impossible. N is nothing I thought he would be, and yet…he’s everything. Motherhood is nothing I thought it would be, and also…it’s everything. Does that make any sense?

I’m rambling, I know. Sorry for that! Let’s just move on to the pictures from this week, shall we?


Morning cuddles again; another day. N has been a wee bit cranky lately; I’m pretty damn sure his molars are coming in or something. He’s biting more lately, and drooling like crazy. Mouthing everything he can get his hands on – which isn’t usual for him. Plus, he’s been waking up fussing in the middle of the night again. Sigh. This makes for a slower start for the both of us each day. Luckily, cuddles are amazing and low energy! Win-win, I’d say.

Another gorgeous day of playing outside in the yard. The weather was warm and sunny, a nice change from the weather we’ve been having {rainy and cold}. N loved soaking up some rays {and having me chase him away from the trails, heh}

Spoon-feeding the eggs I made him Tuesday morning. I wish I could find his matching little fork – the fork and spoon are perfect for training a toddler how to use culterly when eating because they are thick enough to hold easily and small enough to not gag a child too much. But the fork is MIA, so I’ll have to find that soon. Anyway, N really enjoys feeding himself. I don’t really enjoy cleaning up the mess, but I love how proud he is of himself so I’ll take the messy clean-ups!

Another sign of teething; N’s sudden taken to the nummy {aka pacifier}. He’s never sucked on a pacifier before unless he’s teething or not feeling well, or simply just wanting to play with it. All of Tuesday afternoon, he sucked/chewed/drooled on this here nummy.

Also another sign of teething; N was super cuddly. Usually, I *might* get maybe a total of half an hours worth of cuddles from my busy boy each day. But Tuesday was jammed pack full of cuddles! Like, every 10 minutes he was crawling up my lap for more cuddles.

But N is still himself; so no worries. He still does silly little things to make me laugh. 🙂

This picture is a tad bit misleading. N just finished devouring chocolate cake that our landlady baked {she was baking a cake and sent over a few pieces for us. She’s sweet like that}, and N LOVED the freakin’ cake – especially the icing. But he looks a little pissed off here. Probably because there is no more cake. There, I solved the mystery!

And there you have it, I am *mostly* caught up in the pictures from the last two weeks. Except for the whole house pictures thing, which I promise I will get to once I charge my camera {erm, once I find my charger to charge my camera, that is…}.

On to…NOLAN UPDATES! Cause this kid is crazy smart, and I’ve been pretty brief with the updates on him, keeping them mostly to myself {I know, shame on me!}. But, on the 23rd {TOMORROW} N will be 17 months old. Shit son. It’s definitely time for a What He’s Doing update!


As pictured above, N enjoys feeding himself. He’s not exactly pro at it yet {my floors…oh my floors…after every meal…wah} but he does love doing it. He’ll eat mostly anything I put in front of him, but he’s damn sick of chicken. Unless it’s chopped finely and in pasta. N loves pasta, he goes nuts for it. And recently? He loves his eggs too. We went through a stage where he would not eat eggs at all, but now I try to make him scrambled eggs or sunny side up eggs every other day. I do have to add a teaspoon of cream cheese to the eggs in order to add a bit more flavour, since plain things bore him {omg; I’m raising a food critic} but it works! This past weekend, N ate double the portions he usually eats in a day. It was insanity, I barely got to eat because anytime he finished a meal he’d eat the rest of mine. But now, his growth spurt seems to be over and he’s back to his regular intake of food {which is still a lot, I might add, but at least I get to eat again}.

Also, we’ve been given him peanut butter more now. He’s had a few tries of it in the past to make sure he wasn’t allergic to it {and he’s not} and on a lazy day for me he eats up peanut butter toast like it’s some fine dish from Paris, which is awesome because cooking eggs every day gets boring for the both of us.


Since we’ve just moved and all that jazz, N has been remarkably good with sleep. His door sticks, and you have to like slam your shoulder into it to open it {the door clearly needs to be shaven down a bit, which will happen soon…I hope} so he has woken up a few times due to us ‘sneaking’ in to plug the monitor in or when his teething pains wake him up, but aside from that he’s great. He loves his new room, and despite it being brighter than his old room, he does just fine. I did have to leave the rocking chair at my step MIL’s house because it simply wouldn’t fit in N’s new room {it’s smaller, but oh well} so our night time routine has been disrupted and altered a bit. Now we read our stories and have our snuggles on the living room couch and then go to bed. Or I sit in N’s miniature wooden chair and read. Either way, N doesn’t mind so long as he gets his milk and evening stories {seriously; my boy loves his stories}.


N still uses body lanugage and grunts to communicate for the most part, but he does know a lot of words. He just perfers to store them and not use them. He has said; cat, dog, purple, epic, papa, dada, mama, mum, mum-mum, bum, bath, duck, red, car, truck, ball, eat, no, ya and he uses them in proper context too {i.e ‘do you want to go to bed?’ ‘no!’ or…’would you like some milk?’ ‘YA’}. He signs too, he constantly does the sign for eat whenever he’s hungry, and juice whenever he’s thirsty. He recognizes words too. I’ll say ‘where’s the truck Nolan?’ and he’ll point at it {or if it’s a toy, he’ll bring it over to me}.


He seems to have a broader understanding for the world around him now too. For instance, Nolan knows when he shouldn’t touch something. He will look at it, look at me, shake his head and look at the object again. This doesn’t often stop him from touching it, but he still knows that no means no. He just chooses to {rarely} listen. In fact, our constant battle is Matt’s xBox. N is not supposed to touch it, at all. Period. But he’ll touch it, then walk straight over to his time out chair and try to climb on it, shaking his head. It’s amusing, and annoying {because HELLO, you get no…so don’t touch it!} but I know, it’s just him making sense of the world {and trying to give me gray hair}.

So, there you have it. Pictures and a pretty detailed N update. 🙂

P.S. I just noticed it’s Wednesday, which means I probably should have made this post a ‘Wordless Wednesday’ post but I’ve had too many wordless days over the past two weeks so I think I can get away with skipping the wordless part of Wednesday this week 😉 hehe


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Letters to Nolan: 14 months

Hey little guy;

I know it’s been a while since I wrote you a letter. I’m sorry about that! I had fully planned on continuing the monthly letters, but some times life has different ideas! We’ve been go-go-go around here! Never a moment’s rest, eh my little adventure seeker? That’s okay though, this mama certainly doesn’t mind!

I can’t believe you’re 14 months already. Time is just flying by! This past month you learned so much and are now walking! I love watching you walk; you get this adorable, proud look on your face. I’m sure my face mimics yours! I am so completely proud of you Nolan; you’re such a smart little bugger.

I find it absolutely hilarious that you love to show off your belly to everyone. We’ll be playing in the front yard, and you’ll lift up your shirt and point to your belly button every time someone drives by. Or yesterday, at the mall when Daddy was carrying you and you kept pointing to your belly whenever you saw a pretty girl. You’re going to be such a Casanova!

Although, I’m pretty sure you just might like them older. The other day when I took you over to a neighbor’s house to play, you were quite afraid of the little 14 month old girl. Any time she went near you, you started to cry! Perhaps it was because she knocked you over the head with a toy and then squealed at you, or maybe you were just trying to pull the “sweet and sensitive” route with her.

You did love playing in the sandbox and water table with her, but you didn’t enjoy the bath you shared with her afterwards. The two of you were so covered in sand and mud that we couldn’t leave for our walk without a quick bath! Of course, it may have been that this was your first bath with someone else aside from me when you were really little, but who knows?

You’re not much of a chatter box, you’re more of a grunter. You “hmmmp” a lot too, when learning something new. I know you know words; you can say “Mama”, “Dada”, “Ball” and “Hi” – but for the most part, you prefer to use grunts and squeals to communicate. Your body language is certainly improving, you now point to your mouth when you are hungry, and point at toys you want me to get for you. It’s absolutely adorable.

I know you’ll talk when you are ready, so I’m not pushing it. You have all the time in the world to talk.

We’ve completely moved on from bottles, and I know you would have been cool with doing it sooner but it was me, your mama, that held on to the bottles for so long. I enjoyed our morning and bedtime snuggles while you drank your bottle, and I guess I was fearful that once we replaced every drink with a sippy cup, you would no longer want to cuddle. I was so wrong! You still enjoy cuddling with me!

You are my pride and joy, my life. I can’t believe how amazing you are, every single day you take my breath away simply by being my little guy. I can’t believe how handsome you are; each day you look more and more like a little boy and less and less like my baby.

Every day with you is magical; I am the luckiest mama in the world! And Daddy, he’s the luckiest pops in the world! I know for a fact that he too is so proud of you. You continue to amaze him as well!

Happy 14 months Nolan; my little firecracker, tester of the waters.




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