It’s Official…

This will be my last blog post here. I am now blogging over at Notes of Life & Love. Please follow me over there ❤

Cha-cha-cha-cha-changes??

I’m feeling restless with this space and I’m considering moving. I’ve already set up a new blog, on *gasp* Blogger, but I’m not sure yet. There are things about Blogger that I really love. For one, I love that you can change the font on like everything without having to buy a Custom CSS package. My domain is also coming up for renewal, it’s only $15 for the year but I’m just not sure if I’m in love with this blog like I was last year.

So, the floor is yours.

The Bottle Chronicles

or…

Notes of Life & Love

Either way, it’s going to be me blogging about the same stuff I always blog about. 😉

Attention Asshat Drivers: Stop Taking Risks

I don’t know what it is about snow storms that bring out total douchebags on the road, but I’m tired for it. I’m longing for spring – but I know that spring doesn’t grantee douchebag free roads. But still. Winter makes it worse. Especially because the douchebags drive like there isn’t tons of slippery snow and ice on the asphalt.

This evening, I was backing out of my driveway to drive Britt and Serena home. My driveway is at the bottom of a hill on a well traveled road, but I assure you I checked and double checked before backing out. I was about a quarter of the way finished backing out when some asshat appears at the top of the hill, driving towards us. Clearly, I’m backing out of my driveway. My car is pretty damn noticeable, and the dude had plenty of time to slow the fuck down. But guess what? He didn’t. He nearly smashed into me and was on my ass so much so that I had to honk at him to show my annoyance {even though he was behind me…but I’m pretty sure he knew who I was honking at}, and when I was straightening out he decided to try and get around me. With another car coming in the opposite direction. Which caused me to nearly drive into the ditch. When I laid my hand on the horn he {or she} stopped trying to get around and I was able to straighten out and drive forward but I was not comfortable at all, since this idiot put us in danger countless times within 1 minute AND continued to ride my ass.

To the driver of that car: What. The. Fuck. You asshole prick! I had two babies in my car! TWO. And another one on the way! I’m sorry that slowing down and allowing me to completely back out of my driveway without harrassing my back end would waste so much of your precious time, but guess what’s more precious than your time? Our lives. All of ours, even your douchebag life. But most importantly: those babies lives are more important than your “inconvenience” of having to slow down {which, I might add…YOU DIDN’T. AT ALL}.

I am so tired of sharing the roads with risk takers. People who just “don’t have the time” to slow the hell down and drive safely. People who don’t let others have the right of way when they rightfully have it. People who speed through four way stops because stopping is just such a drag.

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve almost been in an accident due to somebody’s stupid dick moves on the road. Honestly? I’m a good driver. I’m careful, but I’m not a turtle. I don’t endanger people by driving too slow and I don’t endanger people by driving too fast. I am cautious and I react well {for the most part}. I drive for the weather conditions. I don’t cut people off, or steal their right away. I drive like I’m carrying precious cargo because I am. My baby – ok, I guess I should say babies -are the most important people in my life, and I’m tired of douchebags putting our lives in danger because they’re taking stupid risks.

I really hope that this post reaches out to at least one douchebag driver out there, and makes them think twice before taking stupid risks. Remember: it’s not just your life you’re risking, you’re risking the lives of other people too, the lives of kids and babies. So slow the fuck down and chill out. Drive with caution and care of everyone else on the road as well as yourself, and don’t take risks. Don’t endanger other people, and don’t endanger my babies or my friends babies, don’t endanger my nieces and nephews.

That’s all, thanks.

An Announcement

I was going to keep this a secret for a while, but I’m terribly bad at secrets. It’s a proven fact. Especially about “exciting” things, I just can’t keep my flap closed. And since Matt is also having a horrible time keeping this secret, I figured…why not?

That’s right folks, two lines…we’re pregnant! Apparently, I’m Fertile Myrtle.

We decided in December that we were ready to add to our little family, so I finished up my BC cycle and went off it in January. Then we started “trying”. By “trying”, I of course mean we just did it a bunch of times, as per usual, and WHAMBAM. Pregnancy? Matt is going to buy me a Staples “that was easy” button and duct tape it to my belly, because…well, that was easy?

We found out February 5th, 2011. I went to a walk in clinic on Wednesday night and they confirmed it. I’m just two days shy of five weeks, and my estimated due date is October 16th, 2011. I am absolutely excited about having an October baby, and…dare I say it…but I’m hoping the baby will be born on October 21st, my dad’s birthday! I doubt that the doctors would let me go five days past my due date, but it’d be sweet to give him a birthday grandbaby!

I know that most women don’t breathe a word of their pregnancy until they are passed the 12th week point. The doctor at the walk in clinic was kind enough to remind me {every time he opened his mouth} that there is a 1 in 5 chance for miscarriage, and he was kind enough to tell me not to “tell everybody just yet”. Nice huh? Definitely doesn’t help calm my nerves at all about this whole pregnancy thing.  But the way I see it…either way, I’m going to blog about the results. I’m over the fear that telling people will “jinx” my pregnancy – I’m not even high risk for a miscarriage! Stressing about that isn’t good anyway. Besides, I spilled the beans about my pregnancy with Nolan just a mere days after finding out, and I was around 5 weeks then too.

We’ve alerted the troops {family} and some close friends, and now I’m alerting all of you. Deep breath.

I was going to wait until I was a little further along…but frankly? Keeping this a “secret” is pretty damn tiring. It’s happy news, so why not share it?! Not to mention, I’ve already “popped” a bit, and it’s already a little noticeable…

I didn’t look like that until about 20 weeks with Nolan! Crazy huh? I know, with your second you pop quickly so I’m trying not to get too offended by the fact that I can barely see my box when I sit down to pee and I’m only four {nearly five} weeks.

I’m super excited! This is our first “planned” pregnancy, but I feel as clueless as I did with Nolan! Seriously, it’s shocking just how much you forget about being pregnant until you’re pregnant again. I didn’t expect to be so exhausted {hence my lazy last couple of weeks}. I didn’t expect the dreams to start so early, either. I’m eating enough to feed a small village too. Thank goodness the nausea hasn’t set in! Although the smell {and look!} of fish is more than enough to turn my belly completely inside out. Of course, the look and smell of fish has always turned my stomach! Gross!!!

I’m also super impatient. How in the hell was I pregnant before? I’m impatient for my first ultrasound, to hear little bean’s heart beat, and to find out what sex little bean is. Boy or girl, it will most definitely be loved! Although I do have a secret desire for a girl, only because Matt says this is our LAST baby and I would like to have a daughter too. Boys are amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I’m hoping for that little girl – the outfits, the girly things, watching her be daddy’s little girl…so sweet! Plus it’s due time someone on Matt’s side had a girl!!! But if little bean happens to be a boy, then so be it! I’ll be just as happy with two little boys as I would be with a girl and a boy.

So, there you have it! There’s my big secret 😀 our big secret! Nolan’s known for quite some time. He keeps rubbing/tapping my belly and saying “baybeee!” So cute!

I have a feeling the next 9 months are going to fly by.

My Little Man

Matt’s friend, Nic, is in town for the week, so we decided to meet up with Nic and Mike for dinner. It’s been a while since we’ve gone out for dinner – we usually cook at home or do “anything nights” on our lazy nights {which consist of soup and grilled cheese, usually. Or breakfast for dinner..} I feel bad for again ignoring our budget, but Matt really wanted to go out for dinner. So, we did? Whom I’m kidding??? I wanted to get out of the house for a bit too!

cheeky indeed!

blurry but cute: Nolan holding Uncle Nic’s hand!

It was a lot of fun! Nolan was a doll, as per usual, such a little ham. He had a blast “proppin” the boys {Matt taught him how to give props, I need to get it on video because it’s adorable!} and stealing pasta off Mama’s plate. We ordered him fries and chicken stripes, and he got to dip his fries and chicken in the plum sauce all by himself. He was actually quite good at it! Watching him kind of made me sad, because he’s such a little boy now and it’s hard to see any “baby” at all. But then he started dipping pasta noodles in the plum sauce…and putting them back on my plate. He’s thoughtful like that.

We had one, rather awkward incident. Poor Nolan had some…erm, “hard poops” I guess…and was crying and carrying on because of it. Seriously, I don’t know why this kid has such a..erm, hard time pooping. The amount of raisins and fiber he gets is quite ridiculous! Mike’s son was/is the same way, apparently. So I took him into the bathroom for some privacy and rubbed his belly to help him work the rest out. He was not a happy camper at that point, probably because the poor kid hates public bathrooms. I’m so not kidding! He saw the public diaper change pad table and looked at me with big “WHY MOMMY” eyes and started bawling. He tried to hang onto me, as he always does, when I laid him down {after disinfecting, I might add. Mama is completely obsessive compulsive about public washrooms and everything MUST be wiped down…hmmm, I wonder where he gets it from?}.

When we got back to our table, it was time for Nolan’s desert! He was allowed to choose from chocolate or vanilla ice cream {we picked chocolate}, but he would not eat it. Nolan also apparently hates cold things? Yeah, I don’t know. He’s like me: weird!

Matt went out with the boys for drinks, and I took Nolan home to bed. But not before we had a mini snuggle-fest and photo shoot!

Ya, I had an epic hair fail like all day long. And I destroyed my bumpit because I got mad at it. So, RIP bumpit? I’ll have to “tease” my hair for shape now. Boo.

Anywho: so post summary; Nolan is adorable and dinner out with friends was much needed.

Thirty Facts

Saw this on Elle’s blog. Thought it might be fun!

Picture by Mandy Getschmen; my wedding day {no stealing!}

1. I can’t sleep with our bedroom door opened. It needs to be closed, at least part way. Before I moved in with Matt {and got a cat}, it had to be closed all the way. But then Sketch came into the picture, and she will literally toss herself at our door until we open it. So I’ve adjusted to it being closed halfway but not fully so the cat can still get in.
2. I am thoroughly disgusted by raisins. I can’t eat them without gagging {I only eat them if I absolutely have to: like today, the only bread we have is raisin bread, so…yeah}.
3. If I had it my way, I would eat pasta for every meal every single day. And be completely happy with it. I looove pasta!
4. I get great ideas and jump aboard, only to regret my decision later. Example: joining the gym. Not such a great idea from the get-go.
5. I rarely splurge on myself. I haven’t bought brand new clothes in what feels like a decade.
6. I’m a disorganized neat freak. I hate dirty things and messes, but I can’t organize space and paperwork to save my life. It drives me absolutely nuts.
7. My husband and I argue a lot, about everything. It’s amusing.
8. I’m addicted to crappy reality TV and Lindor chocolates.
9. I write a detailed grocery list and won’t buy anything that’s “not on my list”.
10. When grocery shopping, I always forget my reusable bags and always ending buying at least two more. Which is why I have a staggering collection of reusable grocery bags.
11. I hate maple syrup on my pancakes 99.9% of the time. There is the super rare occurrence that I’ll have it, but trust me when I say it’s a rare occurrence.
12. I think the hair on my eyebrows grows faster than the hair on my head. I totally need “maintenance” about twice a week. For reals. Nasty, huh?
13. I make my husband tuck me in at night, just so I can fall asleep in his arms {since he stays up way later than I do}.
14. The show Swamp People literally freaks me out.
15. I love decorating our apartment, and buying new things for it. Which is why I’m not allowed to go to Walmart or Winners frequently.
16. I bought a sports bra last week that was literally like 3 sizes too small and forgot to return it, so now I have this ridiculously small bra that I have no idea what to do with.
17. I’m rather flighty with decisions. I’ll be totally game for one idea, then bounce over to another just as quickly as “I made up my mind”. Which brings me to the next fact…
18. I’m horrible at decision making.
19. I’m addicted to my BlackBerry, even if it doesn’t always work. {Which reminds me! It’s working again. I can hear my ringtone when people call me and the lock button actually locks. Random much?}
20. My guilty pleasure is vampire books/shows/movies. Twilight, Vampire Diaries, and True Blood particularly.
21. I’m eating ham right now, and it’s good.
22. I actually love hot dogs a lot. I don’t care what they’re made of, I’ll eat em. My fav is BBQ’d hotdogs 😀 with cheese and onions and ketchup and mustard!
23. I’m hungry right now. Which is why I’m eating ham and talking about food?
24. I’m totally one of those people who eats peanut butter right off the spoon – for your info Elle {fact #4: she doesn’t like that haha}.
25. I refuse to eat my bread crust. Hi, I’m five?
26. I love dancing, even though I suck at it. Like, legit suck.
27. I can’t hold my liquor. At all. Ask Sketch, the last time I got drunk I chased her around the apartment because I thought she was choking. Then I knocked a beer over and soaked my futon and everywhere else. I think I even got the cat!
28. I can’t stand fish. At all. They freak me out. So do chickens, and the way they move.
29. I hate when people stare at me. I don’t care if they’re thinking I’m pretty or awesome, I just don’t like it. I’d rather nobody looked at me at all. I know, I’m weird.
30. I’m keeping a secret 😀 not very well, since I just told y’all I have a secret, but still.

Take THAT, apartment!!!

Over the past little while, I haven’t been on top of my “domestic duties”, so to speak. I know, this confession is shocking coming from me, huh? The one who actually believes in the 50s housewife mindset {to a degree, anyway}. But it’s true! I’ve been slacking, and then some! The soles of my slippers are caked in squished raisins – and that tells you about the cleanliness of my kitchen floor right there.

For the past week, I’ve been super lazy and tired. I think my iron is low – actually I know my iron is low. I don’t get nearly enough red meats, nor do I eat anything else high in iron. So I’ve been lazy, spending most of my afternoons doing nothing but cuddling up my baby boy and reading stories to him. During his nap time, I also nap…or have been, anyway. Our bedroom was a laundry war-zone, piles of dirty scattered about on the floor and baskets of clean stacked high to the ceiling. I was too lazy to fold the clean laundry, and thus didn’t have any baskets for the dirty laundry. Nor did I have any room in the baskets for more clean laundry so I couldn’t just toss it into the washer and dryer to get rid of it. No, that would mean that I would actually have to fold some of the clean clothes. I did manage to stay on top of the dishes, more or less. After all, we don’t have a dish washer and even at my most laziest moments I can’t stand having dirty dishes in my sink. So, go me for that at least!

Yeah, I’ve been the definition of lazy. Even my blogging indicates that, and that’s totally okay. We’re all entitled to moments {er, in my case, weeks} of laziness. I prefer to call it “weeks of rest”, thank you very much.

In any case, I’ve broken out of the fog spell and slapped myself upside the head. I am the one who does the majority of the cleaning {okay, all of it – although hubs does help me tidy up toys in the evening}, because I am the one that gets bothered most by mess and dirty things. I’ve mentioned thousands of times before that Matt does not see messes the way I see them. He’s blind to them. They don’t exist. The man will cook a fantastic dinner, but leave all of the dishes on the counter. I’m lucky if some of them make it into the sink. So, if I’m the only one who does all the majority of the cleaning, you can bet your socks that our apartment needed my love and attention. So this morning, I gave it just that.

A huge chore for me was the recycling under the sink. We have a little blue recycling bin that is supposed to be taken out to our big recycling bin outside when it gets full. However, our big recycling bin is currently buried under tons of snow, I’ve attempted to make Matt dig it out several times before but according to him “it’s frozen to the ground and if he tries to get it out the bottom will come out.” So, we technically don’t have the use of a big recycling bin. I keep forgetting to go to Walmart and pick up a new one {that will we store in Matt’s truck cab}, not to mention Matt missed recycling this week. {He claims it doesn’t matter, because he didn’t have anything to put all the recycling in anyway – since our big bin is, again, buried}. Trust me when I say that the recycling literally piled up to the point where you couldn’t even open the cupboard doors under the sink without tons of it falling out at you. And I kept leaving it, thinking that Matt would deal with it. Pfft, yeah right! Matt deal with a mess?!? Even with my constant bitching about it, it stayed under the sink. He kept saying “oh, I’ll put it all in bags and put it in the back of my truck for now”.

Guess what I did today? I put all of the recycling in bags and then brought it out to Matt’s truck and tossed it in the cab. Now, the cupboard under my sink looks exactly how it’s supposed to…like this:

And Matt’s truck cab is loaded up with bags full of recycling, waiting for the day when we finally get our asses to Walmart to buy a new big recycling bin. Which, if I have anything to do with it, will be happening very soon. I think it looks really trashy {snort, trash…get it!?} and I want that dealt with ASAP. While it brings me such joy to see Matt’s truck cab full of recycling, that joy is dampened by the facts that a) he doesn’t drive his truck during the winter so what kind of punishment is that anyway? and b) as I said, it’s totally trashy and I hate trashy.

So, yeah. That was a huge chore for me this morning. Plus I cleaned the entire kitchen and washed the floors {and picked all the squished raisins off my slippers}. Then I cleaned the bathroom and our bedroom. I’m catching up on laundry {nearly there!} and I’ve vacuumed the livingroom. Our apartment is slowly being restored to it’s original glory, and I love it!

I don’t know why I allow myself to get in lazy moods like that. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does the mood drags on and on and on. Seriously, weeks of laziness? What the hell, me?

I’m glad I finally gave our apartment some tender loving and care, since Matt would like to have his college friend, G, and G’s girlfriend over for a “fondue party” tomorrow night. I’m game because chocolate fondue is bomb! And yes, I know, I should have recruited his help because he wants to have the fondue party, but guess what? I’m sure I’ll be making him clean something in preparation for this “fondue party” – our apartment never stays clean for long!

When I say that Matt doesn’t see messes the way that I see them, I mean simply that. He doesn’t see them. If I tell him to clean something, he’ll do it. I know, the recycling was just him being super lazy and probably unable to see how or where we could store all that recycling without pissing off our landlords {he was thinking truck bed, I was thinking truck cab}.

The best thing about being a stay-at-home-mom is that I only have myself to report to. Matt is completely fine with messes. I, on the other hand, not so much. So the only person I piss off when I get lazy is myself. I don’t piss off any managers or bosses, and I don’t loose my job for slacking. So basically, I can be lazy and still “have a job”. It’s awesome. Plus when I’m feeling lazy and not wanting to clean, it just gives me even more time to read stories to Nolan and play with him. We’ve had tons of snuggles this week!

Oh and by the way, I found Nolan’s other snow boot…it was stuck in his snow pants. So Nolan didn’t actually lose it at all. Mom fail? Totally. Oh well, he doesn’t seem bothered by the misguided blame at all 😉

According To My BlackBerry {8}

This week according to my BlackBerry….

“Look Ma! I can fit my whole fist in my mouth!” …well, nearly…

Someone stole mama’s sweater…

Nolan is obsessed with his diaper pail.

Just so you know, RIGHT after I took this picture Nolan plugged his nose like he does when he smells something unpleasant. haha!

Nolan rocks a pretty epic mohawk.

Nolan playing ❤

His new favourite toy the other morning was a wooden spoon. Kids huh?

Nolan and Sketch hanging out ❤

I don’t know what’s up with my hair, but Matt is hot 😀

Awkward family photo for the win! Love Nolan’s face in this one ❤

I absolutely LOVE Nolan’s face in this one too haha! AWESOME! Priceless!

In summary: kids are awesome. Especially mine 😉

A {Very Sad} Letter to BlackBerries {specifically mine}

Dear BlackBerry:

I love you. I’ve loved you since the first time I held you in the Bell store, not even two months ago. You were far prettier and faster than my old BlackBerry, and you had wireless capabilities. I treat you like a queen, you practically sit on a royal cushion day after day. The kind of treatment you get is actually quite ridiculous.

And yet, randomly, you refuse to lock. I now am that person who butt calls everyone. You refuse to ring, no matter what setting you’re on. You refuse to sound the alarm should I set it. I don’t know what I ever did to wrong you, to hurt you…but you’re hurting me by acting up so quickly into our relationship. I thought we were meant to be! I even paid extra for your pretty self! But now you mock me by not working.

A girl needs a lock button, and a girl needs to be able to hear her phone should it ring {or the alarm, should it go off}. I’m worried about our future together…if this is happening just two months into our relationship…well, I have reason to worry. Obviously, I now have to take you all the way in to a Bell store and send you off for repairs. But I’m worried those repairs won’t fix the future issues, I’m worried that as soon as your warranty wears out, you will fall to the same fate my last BlackBerry did. I’m worried all the issues I’ll have with you will cause me to go literally insane.

You know, I renewed my contract with Bell for another three years to get you. I thought for sure that BlackBerry had improved their phones, since everyone else I talked to had no issues with it. But alas, here we are…you’re not ringing, nor are you locking. I butt dialed six people already today. Luckily they were all Matt, but still. You didn’t get dropped, you didn’t get thrown, you didn’t get left out in the freezing cold of my car. You are treated like a celebrity. I’m beginning to think you’ve got Lindsay Lohan’s personality: despite all the allowances you have, you’re still a drunken mess.

I hope that when I take you in for repairs, it solves all of our issues together. Otherwise, I’m going to have to replace you again. Only this time? I’ll replace you with an iPhone. Yeah, I went there.

Love,
Your owner with the broken-heart:
Jess

P.S. I really don’t want an iPhone, I want you, but I want and need you to work properly. We’re in this together, for three years.

Bad Mood Bear

I am in a bad mood today. I’m stressed, anxious, and exhausted. I’ve had far too many late nights over the past little while and needless to say…they’ve caught up with me! Today has kicked my ass and then some, and despite my nap this afternoon I’m still dragging ass and grouchy.

I barely got any sleep last night, between Nolan’s sleep crying and my back. My back was causing me murderous pain, probably because of the way I was sitting during our evening TV watching. So from 2am-3am, I tossed and turned and whined. I ditched my pillow even. Finally I fell asleep, but it was NOT peaceful.

Then my morning started off with the walk-in-clinic “re-dial” game. I wanted to book an appointment for myself and Nolan. The walk-in-clinic we usually go to opens at 1pm and at 9pm you can call and book an appointment for that day. Monday mornings are always rat races, I played the “re-dial” game for literally half an hour. When I finally got through, I tried to book an appointment. I gave the receptionist my name and she instantly interrupted me.

“You owe us for a foot clinic you missed in May. We won’t be able to see you until you pay the $70 charge.” this was said in an icy, short tone {after I was interrupted}.

“Ok…but I don’t have $70 today…” was my response, because I don’t. I was about to ask if I could still be seen with a promise to pay this Friday, but didn’t get far at all because I was again cut off.

“We won’t be seeing you until you pay the $70 charge”.

Ok then.

I was deeply irritated because this foot clinic thing is bogus. I signed up for it, yes, but I never received a call. {Who knows, maybe I did but at the time we were living with Matt’s dad & step-mom, I often didn’t get calls}. I guess I just forgot and assumed they weren’t doing it since I never got the call.

And to me, $70 seems VERY excessive for a missed foot clinic appointment, and the receptionist shouldn’t have had a bitchy tone with me. You catch more bees with honey, not vinegar.

Obviously I’m going to pay this fine, despite the fact that I think its WAY too much for a missed appointment AND despite the fact that they never clarified that “missing” their foot clinic would result in a fee. But I’m still mad about it.

So that put me in a foul mood from the get go. Mostly because I’m feeling insanely guilty for the amount of unnecessary I spent in the last month that shouldn’t have been spent. The tattoo, my hairdo, the three times I went out for lunch with Nolan, the pizza we didn’t have to order, and the 26er of vodka I didn’t need to buy are all weighing heavily on my mind. The fact that we’re tapped until Friday because I slipped up so much also weighs heavily on my conscious.

Throughout it all, Matt isn’t angry with me. Despite the fact if the tables were turned *I* would undoubtedly be infuriated with him. But I don’t let him make mistakes like that, so why do I let myself?

I’m just having one of those days where I need to pout and feel sorry for myself just because I know I screwed up. I know I should have been smarter about our money. I really don’t think I’m to blame for the whole missed foot clinic thing, but I also don’t think they’re entirely too blame either. It just sucks. Especially since I’ve been in several times since May with Nolan and they never once mentioned this fee to me. Or it would have been paid by now {because I usually don’t suck THIS much with our money}.

I still have another four hours to get through before I can fall into bed and call it a night.